Moving Beyond “Fair” to Build a Great Relationship with Nate and Kaley Klemp

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson - A podcast by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson - Mondays

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These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships. On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other. About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: Nate and Kaley’s personal relationship as a basis for their work 5:30: Three different models of relationship 9:30: Two pillars to 80/80 - mindset and structure 12:20: How a 50/50 dynamic caused problems for Nate and Kaley  19:20: The conscious or unconscious division of roles 21:30: Gratitude and generosity 25:40: Parenting, shared success, and being on a team 32:15: Getting your partner’s buy-in, reveal and request 39:50: Underlying beliefs and power imbalances 44:20: Creating structure (and data) to have difficult conversations 49:30: Distinguishing a reluctant partner from an unwilling partner 52:05: Key skills that distinguish successful couples 56:10: Recap New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price. Sponsors: Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell. Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.   Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices