8 Relationship Red Flags NO Christian Should Ignore

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Coursehttps://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/Every relationship will have its ups and downs—not just romantic relationships, but any person you’re trying to have a healthy, godly connection with. How can you tell when your relationship is dysfunctional or downright destructive? Hopefully you know that issues such as abuse, infidelity, substance abuse, and being secretive are examples of toxic behavior.   But what about the less obvious examples—the ones you just can’t put your finger on?  Today I want to talk to you about 8 relationship red flags that no Christian should ignore in ANY relationship. Before we dive in, I just want to say that there is a difference between troubled and toxic. Troubles can play out in a difference of opinions, personalities, and even a difference in values. Troubled people can have difficulty regulating their emotions and are likely to struggle with past and current triggers and suffer from emotional immaturity.   While toxic people can have many of these same struggles, it doesn’t end there.  While we do want to extend the same grace to troubled people that God extends to us, we also want to discern if we’re trying to treat a wolf as a sheep. Red Flag #1: Manipulation-       If you’ve forgive me, you’d back off-       If you leave, I’ll hurt myself-       I don’t know why you don’t just trust me When a person is manipulative, they only have one thing on their mind--how can I get my needs met? It’s self-serving but sly.  Manipulation can take the form of guilt, anger, passive aggression and scripture twisting.    If someone responds with rage when you question them, they are trying to manipulate you into backing down.   The same is true for passive aggression. Behind the mask, passive aggressive people are extremely manipulative. They pretend to be one thing while scheming to change your behavior to suit their agenda. Their intent is to deceive you. And if you catch them in their lie, they will often deflect from their true motive by saying things like, I was only joking. Red Flag #2: Walking on Eggshells-       It’s not just what you said, it’s how you said it. Now I’m upset. Thanks a lot.-       Why do you have to breathe so loudly? You know it bothers me. In healthy relationships behaviors and communication are easy to navigate (for the most part). In eggshell relationships you take considerable care to avoid upsetting the other person. This often creates a dynamic of codependency as you’re constantly watching for how this person feels so you can navigate without upsetting them. It’s tense.  People that make you walk on eggshells are controlling. They target your mental and emotional well-being in an effort to subdue you. If you’re constantly scared to bring something up, or if you’re always trying to formulate what you want to say and how to say it, and are constantly met with gaslighting, blaming, or utter disregard, my friend, you have crossed a serious red flag.  If you find yourself a tiptoer, be sure to check out my online course Conquering Codependency biblically. https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/ Red Flag #3: Control -       I do it because I love you-       After all I’ve done for you, this is the least you could do for me