Be Your Own Hero

I’ve been watching a documentary on HBO called “The Vow.” It’s your typical feel-good story where a bunch of people get involved with a self-help guru without realizing they’ve actually joined a cult, despite some obvious red flags like… well, I don’t want to give anything away. You should check it out though. It’s fascinating. Watching this, it’s easy to wonder how anyone can possibly get into this situation and not know that something isn’t right. I always do my best to understand other points of view. I try to put my own judgment aside in attempt to find an explanation that makes sense. That’s not an easy thing to do. We all place some level of judgment on everything – it’s part of having a human brain. In this particular situation, however, it’s hard for me to see how they got so far into it before they realized that what was happening was wrong. That’s not to say I blame these people – I wasn’t in that situation, so I can’t criticize their choices. This happens all the time, though. Usually it doesn’t get to cult status, fortunately, but people do tend to get caught up in these fads of self-improvement while searching for ways to change their lives and businesses for the better. They look to others for inspiration, motivation, and some magical advice that will help them reach their goals. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with looking for input – if someone else is able to give you a different perspective that helps you move forward, that’s fantastic. Where it gets dangerous is when you take everything someone says as certainty without questioning if it really makes sense or if it’s really the right way for you. The inherent problem with some of these self-help books and groups and courses, in my opinion, is that they enable people to look outward to find what’s right for them. It’s normal to want others to guide us - to tell us how we should run our businesses, how we should make decisions, and what we should do to get ahead. But, while all of these people can give us ideas, no one else can tell us what’s right for us, especially when their content is generalized. If you’re working one on one with someone who is taking the time to learn about you and your business workflow, that’s different because they are, hopefully, tailoring their advice to you. But keep in mind that being an expert in your field doesn’t mean you have a one-size-fits-all process for what you do. We all have to inject our own needs, personality, thought process, and so much more into crafting our success. The best answers are found by looking inward because you know yourself better than anyone else can. So instead of looking up to others, why not be your own hero? Looking for external validation can be dangerous because, in most cases, people are trying to fit you into their box. They’re teaching you from their point of view and what they’ve experienced. It makes sense, but the specifics of their situation might not be applicable to you. It’s also easy to get caught up in the images we see, which aren’t always reality. You can look at someone’s website and social and think, wow, they have it all figured out. But we don’t see what’s going on behind the scenes. It’s best not to make assumptions, whether they’re for the best or worst (or somewhere in between). Even if you do your research, you never really know. Think about how many of these well-known people have been outed for acting in a way that goes against everything they teach, and then all of their readers, listeners, or viewers feel betrayed because they believed in what they were selling. No one is perfect and no one has all the answers. Be leery of anyone who is pretending they do, or promising their system is guaranteed to make you six figures or any other outlandish claim. If you dig into the fine print, you’ll usually find something along the lines of “results shown are not typical.” We can’t expect anyone to be perfect or exemplary of success all of the time. But we should b