Your Ex's Thoughts If They're Dating Someone
Coach Lee - A podcast by Coach Lee
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What Is Your Ex Thinking If They're Dating Someone Else? After a breakup, seeing your ex dating someone else can be incredibly challenging. You might wonder what’s going through their mind and whether this new relationship is a rebound or something serious. Here are key insights into what your ex might be thinking if they’ve moved on to someone else and how this dynamic can evolve. Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit 1. The Stages of Grieving the Breakup Can Be Delayed If your ex begins dating someone shortly after your breakup—or even before it officially ended—they might not have fully processed the breakup yet. Their new relationship could be in the limerence stage, also known as the “honeymoon phase.” During limerence, people feel a heightened sense of excitement, passion, and novelty. This stage is often chemically fueled by dopamine, which can create an illusion of perfection in the new relationship. However, this phase doesn’t last forever. Limerence lacks deeper aspects like commitment, companionship, and the feeling of family that sustain long-term relationships. While they may feel “madly in love” now, those intense emotions are not permanent. 2. No Contact Minimizes Limerence If you’re in no contact with your ex, you’re taking a powerful step to avoid fueling the limerence of their new relationship. Often, when an ex sees their previous partner trying to intervene or win them back, it creates an “us versus the world” mentality. This dynamic can deepen their bond with the new partner as they unite against a perceived threat. By staying silent, you remove yourself from the equation, leaving their new relationship to face its own natural challenges. Additionally, your lack of communication can intrigue your ex, shifting their focus away from their current relationship and back toward wondering about you. 3. They Will Miss Intimacy With You Once limerence fades—and it always does—your ex may begin to miss the intimacy you shared. This includes emotional closeness, shared experiences, and mutual understanding built over time. Their new relationship is in its early stages, meaning it lacks the depth and history that your relationship had. If your relationship lasted for six months or longer, you had time to develop a connection that went beyond surface-level attraction. Your ex may find themselves comparing the new partner to you and longing for the emotional safety and familiarity you provided. No contact strengthens this effect by withholding any updates about your life, leaving them curious and uncertain. They might start imagining you thriving, enjoying life, and potentially moving on—all of which can create a sense of fear of missing out (FOMO) in their mind. 4. Comparisons Start to Surface As the honeymoon phase of their new relationship ends, your ex may begin comparing you and their new partner. These comparisons can be in your favor if you were a kind, thoughtful, and emotionally supportive partner. They might remember the way you showed affection, the fun moments you shared, or even small gestures that made them feel loved. While their new relationship lacks the time and experiences necessary to develop such memories, your history with your ex becomes a unique advantage. Familiarity, shared stories, and inside jokes can outweigh the fleeting excitement of a new relationship. 5. A Secret Contact With You Can Undermine Their New Relationship If your ex reaches out to you while dating someone else, it’s a significant sign. They are likely keeping this communication secret from their new partner, creating an intimacy with you that they don’t share with them. This secrecy can subtly erode trust and closeness in their new relationship while reigniting a connection between you and your ex. When they confide in you about old times or current feelings, it rekindles the bond you shared. If this happens, avoid being cold or confrontational. Instead, be polite and open,