How to turn pain into pleasure and get paid for it all! - Ben Pechey

Ben Pechey is a fashion stylist, writer, award winning content creator and a huge LGBTQ activist Ben identifies as non- binary- not exclusive male or female- ‘They/them’ are their preferred pronouns. Ben's mission is to live in a world where kindness educates. Ben was relentlessly bullied growing up in a quiet rural Yorkshire town. Ben says It’s very common for LGBTQ people to miss out on their teenage years. It wasn’t until Ben went to university they could fully step into Ben's true self. Ben was lucky enough to become a fashion editor whilst still studying at university, which of course meant Ben could hit the London fashion catwalk running. Of course, like many, 2020 meant everything got cancelled and cuts were made. This could of broke Ben. Going back to a tiny rural village in York meant Ben hasn’t been out mixing at all since March, Bens mental health of course suffered deeply, but what did Ben do with this? Well they started talking about it all! Fully, no pussy footing. What did this mean for Ben? Well Ben’s never been busier! Appearing for brands such as high streets Matalan, writing for cosmopolitan, Women’s Health’ plus Minus magazine restless magazine, The Guardian, Goldie magazine to name a few. Plus, Bens just announced that Ben is writing a book! Oh, and have I mentioned Bens amazing podcast ‘the happy place?! ‘Ben covers some of the tricky aspects of being human We chat about all of this, but more importantly I wanted Ben to talk to me like I was his grandma as I’m fully  aware many people don’t know what to say or fully understand the terminology for LGBTQ so I asked for Ben to explain it all to me for you guys too! Bens Takeaways 1.Respect and value each business opportunity. Remember how you conduct yourself throughout is important. As they will come back again with a bigger budget. 2.If you don’t know the correct terminology or are nervous, don’t want to offend, just say that, address it straight away, they will be pleased it’s talked about rather than avoided. 3.If you’re finding your community to be toxic, speak out, you’ll find it isn’t just you who's thinking that. 4.As long as you’re coming from a calm genuine place people won’t feel offended. Your views are always valid! 5.Don’t forget to remind people, Fashion has power, don’t be told otherwise. Think how women felt wearing trousers in the 20’s now thinks how liberated people feel expressing themselves in makeup, dresses or heels. 6.You can love fashion right now in this climate, being more of a conscious buyer is actually quite fun, it makes us think more and actually experiment more. 7.Remember, it’s common for many LGBTQ people to miss out on their teenage years. So, the 20’s are so important! Give them room to explore and express at any age.  8.The best teachers and counsellors in life have been through struggle too, empathy is truly a super power. If you use your struggle and pain to help others it might help you heal, and switch hurt into purpose. 9.If you’re feeling like Ben with not wanting to go out into the world since the beginning of lock down, go easy on yourself and know you’re not alone. Remember how brains and bodies have muscle memory, if you take small steps each day and slowly increase it you will gain confidence. Do reach out to others though as this is not necessary you don’t need to be alone. There’s Millions feeling like you right now. 10.If you’re a writer a creator or I. The public eye and you’re wanting to change your voice to be more in line with who you really are, try one or two articles out of 7 and see how you feel. Send it to a close trusted friend first if that helps. As you’ll know what you hate the minute you hit send to them first. 11.Your bravery and strength will not come without pain and setbacks. But the other side is worth it! You can find all of Bens stunning work at Www. Benpechey.com and on Instagram at Ben Pechey and be sure to listen to Bens amazing podcast ‘The Happy Place!’ Books & Podcasts Fattily Ever After by Stephanie Yeboah Podcast - Queer Talk, Finding your Fabulous