What Motivates You? Looking At External Validation vs. Internal Validation

In this episode of Everyday EQ, I review the third component of emotional intelligence, which I call internal validation. This is my adaptation of Daniel Goleman's "intrinsic motivation," so I explain the difference and why I've found validation to be a more powerful influencer of behavior. I break down the different types of internal validation and external validation, and I even give you an exercise to help you assess whether you're just doing something to get external validation. Life-changing stuff, here. 00:30 - I label this component of emotional intelligence as Internal Validation instead of Daniel Goleman's "intrinsic motivation."1:01 - First, let's define intrinsic motivation 1:25 - Now, on to why I see validation as more influential when it comes to your emotional intelligence3:22 - An example of making money from internal validation vs for external validation5:58 - Breaking down the difference between internal validation vs external validation6:16 - Internal validation feels like...7:08 - And external validation be like...7:55 - A sidebar on trying to prove yourself8:49 - Back to listing other forms of external validation11:05 - How to stay internally validated 11:24 - Start with your system for success, using your top 5 emotional needs. ***If you don't know your top 5 emotional needs, you can discover them with this free worksheet that you can DOWNLOAD HERE https://theceqo.com/top-5-needs (or grab it from my bio link on Instagram @justjfc).***12:44 - Creating a life that's aligned will take effort, not gonna lie. #worthit13:20 - But, even with its challenges, creating an authentic life will FEEL better. 14:49 - How internal validation can help you leverage your emotions so you are doing things for the right reasons14:49 - An alignment check exercise that will help you figure out whether you're saying yes to something bc of external validation or internal validation15:57 - A word of caution about the lifespan of external validation16:33 - Ok, on to the actual exercise17:20 - Real-life example time!20:41 - What to do if only a few of your needs are satisfied AND WHAT NOT TO DO21:31 - This emotional intelligence 411 in the "NOT SATISFIED" column will show you where you might default into chasing external validation. How's that for some newfound self-awareness?! 22:28 - Here's how it would go down in this dating scenario if you were INTERNALLY validated instead.23:23 - And finally, how to make sure you're setting ALIGNED goals that are truly based on internal validationAs always, if you have questions about emotional intelligence or anything that you heard on this episode, please reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. Thanks for listening!