Journey of Attachment: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself

People who are insecurely attached have trouble trusting themselves because they got negative reinforcement for their choices as a kid: punishment, neglect, etc. If this is you, you are constantly looking for clues about what you’re “supposed” to do, needing reassurance around every step you make. You second-guess yourself, avoid making decisions, punish the decisions you DO make and are leery about trusting others. This results in a lot of anxiety and playing it safe because making a wrong choice could result in loss or punishment… and who wants that? If you are dating someone who is a few minutes late to meet you, or doesn’t call you back right away, you may leap to the assumption they are seeing someone else. You go off the rails because you don’t trust them, and you don’t trust yourself to handle the disappointment if you’re right. And of course you don’t ask them about it because you don’t want to know the answer; safer to keep the cat in the bag. When you don’t trust yourself, you stay stuck, afraid you won’t be able to handle the feelings around your choices. Why is trusting yourself so important? You’ll stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and will be able to trust others. It also leads to less anxiety and better decision-making because you’re not acting from fear. Each time you connect with yourself emotionally, speak your truth and make decisions from your heart (instead of staying paralyzed in your head), trust in yourself will grow.