# 33 - Are you being alienated from your child? How to identify parental alienation and what to do about it.

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt and Dr. Alan Blotcky tackle the topic of parental alienation which are behaviors, tactics or strategies that one parent will use to undermine the child's relationship with the other parent.  HIGHLIGHTS:  [00:01:00] Susan introduces Dr. Alan Blotcky who is a clinical and forensic psychologist, a freelance journalist published in USA today, Psychology Today in many other places. He's also an associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Alabama.  [00:05:00] Dr. Blotcky discusses the difference between legitimate alienation vs “strange moments” when a child does not want to be with the other parent.  [00:08:30] Susan and Alan identify how to determine if the parent is intentionally or unintentionally using alienating behaviors, there are typically multiple things taking place to promote the alienation.  [00:15:30] Alan explains the importance of identifying which is the alienating parent and the next steps that need to take place. He and Susan talk about the Judge’s role and level of education in this area so attorney’s understand what role they need to play.  [00:19:30] Timelines are extremely important when documenting the situation. Pay attention to this section so you know how to do it properly to show clarity. [00:21:30] Parents should not let their kids have decision making power in situations because children do not know what is in their best interest. [00:22:30] Susan asks Alan to discuss the weaponization of children between parents.  [00:27:30] Alan discusses his recent article that highlights these situations even in the celebrity world. Kim and Kanye become an example of weaponization.  QUOTES:  [00:08:30] “Let me say this. I think in, in true cases of parental alienation, the parent, doesn't just do one thing. It's usually a multitude of things, which makes it somewhat easier to diagnose, because if it's just one thing, if a parent just occasionally says something negative about the other parent and is not engaging in any other kind of behavior, then that's sort of the unintended.”  [00:16:00] “Judges will order reunification therapy often. That's not a problem. What they don't do is make sure that the alienating parent has a therapist.”  [00:21:30] “Adults are supposed to be the decision-makers. They're supposed to be the ones with maturity. They're the ones who are, have perspective. Children are children. They are not the ones who have decision-making power. They don't have the power in the family.”  [00:32:00] “Children want to love both parents and feel close to both parents. That's just the natural thing the children want and need. And so if both parents understand that and make sure that that happens, then that's, that's the goal that will make everything easier.”    RESOURCES & LINKS:  Dr. Alan Blotcky  https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-blotcky-phd-556a3847/  https://twitter.com/ablotcky  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alan-blotcky-phd-llc-birmingham-al/400983  https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parental-alienation/  https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/