#21 Can Marital Therapy Really Help Families Avoid Divorce?

SUMMARY Psychologist & marital therapist, Dr. Michael O’Hara, and child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt have a frank conversation about marital therapy. They discuss the benefits, timing, and right ways to pursue therapy. They also review the benefits of therapy for the children involved in divorce & separation. They talk about how to deal with having kids of different ages during the divorce, what helps, and what hurts. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [00:01:03] Dr. Michael O’Hara discusses marital therapy and what it means for a marriage. [00:12:40] What is the ratio of positive to negative in a marriage that constitutes a good and lasting marriage? [00:21:12] Dr. O’Hara explains how he deals with marital therapy if a spouse has an addiction. [00:31:42] What it means when lawyers get involved in therapy and how to handle it when you use that strategy? [00:45:07] Dr. O’Hara gives advice about how to parent a child while going through a divorce. [01:09:15] Dr. O’Hara talks about how psychologists help with child therapy during a divorce. [01:16:06] How can parents keep a good parent-child relationship with both parents during a divorce? ------------------------------ QUOTES 9:33 “When we live with somebody, we have to be able to complain to that person about them, about how they make us feel.” 21:57 “When we talk about addiction, we talk about a behavior and it could be substance abuse, it could be gambling, it could be sex. Addiction is when this behavior is repeated compulsively, meaning there's a driven attitude about it.” 44:32 “I think everybody could benefit from counseling in some fashion or form for any reason.” 1:11:33 “You make decisions on what to tell your children based upon how it's going to benefit them, and so parents really need to take that into consideration. Do you speak about it very early on that there are these kind of the sophisticated kids who asked sophisticated questions about the divorce and the breakup.” 1:24:14 “Divorce. That's mainly what we've talked about today. It's a very tragic thing, but it might be the necessary thing. If it is, I hope that it is taken with the utmost consideration, caution, and preparation” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Dr. Michael O’Hara: Phone Number: (561) 748-4050 Website: https://www.drmichaelohara.com/ The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/ DSM (Diagnostic Statistic Manual of Mental Health Disorders): https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm Florida Statue 61.13: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.13.html Divorce Poison By Richard Warshak: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing/dp/0061863262/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1AQP6D6YN823A&dchild=1&keywords=divorce+poison+by+dr.+richard+a.+warshak&qid=1602031062&s=books&sprefix=Divorce+Poison+by+richard+%2Cstripbooks%2C347&sr=1-3