I almost died rafting the Snake River

I almost died rafting the snake river.   Six other friend and I were paddling down the river when we got caught in an unexpected current created by a tight bend in the river.    Our little raft slammed into the base of a cliff.    The boat flipped.   Bodies and oars went flying.    Our river guide (who was not wearing a helmet) slammed his head against the rock and was bleeding badly.   I heard people screaming, and splashing as they tried to get back to the upturned raft.    Some were even trapped underneath.   I looked down the river and realized that some pretty serious rapids - class III and IV - were coming up quickly.   We were in trouble.   Suddenly, the safety training our river guide gave us before we started our journey popped into my head.   “If your raft capsizes, there’s only one way to flip it back over. You have to climb on top, hook the handle of your paddle into the rope on one side of the raft, then use your body as leverage as you pull on the paddle to flip the raft over.” (.)   I hauled myself up onto the raft, grabbed the rope, leaned back and flipped it over.   One by one we got everyone back into the raft, gathered our paddles, patched up our bloody river guide, and muscled through the rapids.   As things calmed down, my buddy leaned over to me and asked, “How on earth did you know how to flip the raft back over?”   “I just paid attention during the safety training,” I said.   (It didn’t hurt that I’d been working out and had the strength to haul my wet body up onto the raft.)   I don’t tell you this story just because I want you to think I’m cool… but if you do, I guess I’m ok with that.   This lesson is more parable for marriage.   Life is like the river. It gives all sorts of surprise currents, rapids, and rocks to navigate.   And sometimes it even upturns your raft.   When your raft gets upturned (you’re arguing a lot, you have a new baby, a parent passes away, someone gets really sick, you lose your job, etc.) it can be scary and dangerous!    You might panic.   You might freak out.   You might feel trapped, or doomed.   But if you’ve taken the training, developed the skills, and you FOLLOW THE PRINCIPLES AND TOOLS THAT LEAD TO SUCCESS, you can right the ship, recover, and finish the trip.   And you can have a BLAST doing it!   The real danger comes when you experience a challenge and you don’t have the training or skills to overcome it.   You feel helpless as you flounder and struggle in the water.    You can exhaust yourself swimming against the current.   You can panic, and pull people under the water in an effort to save yourself.   In your marriage, this kind of “drowning” behavior often shows up as blaming, criticizing, shutting down, attacking your partner, name-calling, having the same arguments over and over and over, and immense amounts of shame.   In order to survive and thrive in marriage, you HAVE to have emergency safety training.   You HAVE to have a plan in place for emergencies and crises.    You have to know how to right the ship by repairing the damage that was done, keep yourself safe and panic-free by learning to manage your own emotions, and help your shipmate if they’re in trouble.   So, how do you get this training?   That’s what I’m here for.   The best way is to or join the .   These experiences are designed 100% to help you navigate the rapids of marriage, keep your raft upright, and keep yourself and your partner from drowning.    But most importantly… I want to help you enjoy the journey! If you feel like you’re in over your head (literally or figuratively), please . Don’t drown when you could have gotten help.