276. How To Be Awesome At Having The Hard Conversation

Take a quick pause on what you’re doing right now to fully think about this question… what conversation should you have that you haven’t had yet?   What difficult conversation have you been avoiding? What should you tell someone that feels so hard but would relieve pressure or stress by doing it?    Often times we sacrifice what we really want OR we assume someone feels a certain way about something OR we don’t want to have to deal with a conflict or disappointing or upsetting someone… so we don’t have it.  Sometimes for weeks or months and sometimes for yearssss.   It becomes normal not to actually have the hard conversation that would make something better.  Today is the wake up day on this - we are unpacking hard conversations.    We’re pulling wisdom from lots of people who have studied this topic today.    Starting with business strategist, Alex Hermozi. He said, “the life you want is in the other side of a few hard conversation and you’re living a life you hate because you’re too afraid to have them.”   He says…  Whenever I feel anxious or insecure or sad  Im like-  What conversation do I need to have that im not having?   Usually if you think for not that long  You’ll know - this is the conversation ive been putting off.    And then, just have it.  The time between when you know you need to have it and the time when you actually have it gets shorter and shorter.   You dread it but after you do it - you’re like how many more of these can I have?!   It’s like the freedom of it makes you crave more.    WHY have these talks? 1. Your stress can literally kill you.  It’s not worth carrying this with you.  2. You will be 90 one day.  We can’t numb life and avoid these things.  The regret at 90 would be worse than the pain of having it now.      It might be horrible during.    But when you think about being 90 years old - you have the courage.    And whatever their reaction is - it’s like - I’m doing what I need to do and what I will regret least.    For relationships - sometimes things just keep going the way they’ve been and maybe you need to uncover something that happened that affects the entire relationship.    Often times you dread it - but maybe you were both assuming things - and it wasn’t accurate.    Your only regret will be not doing it sooner.    The pain of having these conversation is nothing compared to the gain that you get afterwards.    You need something to give you the springboard to do it - for me it’s the thinking of being 90 - and not having the same oppotunries that I do now.   And we do not want regret at age 90. So let’s have those really hard conversations now.    Examples:    You don't quit the job because you love who you work for - but no growth is there.    You’re deeply hurt by what a family member did but you just sit with it and let it grow.    You don’t talk to a friend because another friend had a dispute with them - so you’ve been loyal but it doesn’t make sense anymore and you want that friend back.    Your husband is consistently inconsiderate in a certain way and you just accept that that is how he is - but maybe you need to have the hard conversation!    Maybe you have a bad friend that you need to break up with?      You have these rapid periods of growth that happen because once you do it - you have courage to do the next one.  Maybe you break up with someone that you know you need to.    It SUCKS during and after but when you expand the time horizon, you’re like man I feel F-ing fantastic!!  Who else do I need to talk to?    I hope this episode makes you really ask the question - what conversation do I need to have that I’m not having?    CHEERS to embracing the uncomfortable and having the hard conversation as soon as possible!