E48. The Gift of Crisis

In Episode 48 of Insights, we explore the gift that crisis brings. A crisis in life, whether that be in health, finances, relationship or career, can be likened to a psychological tremor through to a psychological earthquake. The strongest structures remain standing in an earthquake and the weakest structures fall and disappear for ever. Our psychological earthquakes clarify what matters most in our lives and which relationships are the strongest and which are perhaps not what we thought. A real relationship can handle robust conversation about any topic. A strong relationship can aggressively tackle any topic and not the person. Many have been experiencing psychological earthquakes, losing businesses, relationships and in some cases their lives. Life will sometimes produce tremors. Tremors are like warnings. Warnings of changes we may need to make. Tremors wake us up to our priorities, causing us to perhaps think differently about how we live. Crises of any kind, amplify who we were already heading into the crises. I have noticed people who were kind and generous of spirit are even more so now. The same goes for the nasty ones. A crisis amplifies the best and worst. A crisis amplifies who you are. Crisis inspires the awareness of different questions. Questions which perhaps we have never thought important, or even worthy of our time. When all is going well, we don’t need to question anything. We seem to just go along on the ride. A truly excellent question I read in a wonderful book called “The Only Thing That Matters” by Neale Donald Walsch, says, “How does what I am doing right now serve the agenda of my soul?” I love this. This question immediately shifts our perspective. Our thoughts become extensions of love instead of fear. Every moment is an opportunity to choose who we want to become. This question inspires empathy, patience, kindness, peace, compassion and a focus on contribution. Instead of judging someone we can become empathetic. For example, have you ever judged someone on the road for stopping in the middle of a clear way zone? I know I have! What if we were to ask ourselves how does what I am doing right now serves the agenda of my soul? This would cause me to reflect. Have I ever been stuck in the middle of a clear way zone? Well…yes! Moving along in slow moving traffic one morning, as I was thinking about a training I was about to deliver, traffic suddenly halted. There I was in the middle of a clear way zone blocking traffic! As I look at this driver who is stuck in a clear way zone blocking me from getting through, I acknowledged with a little hand gesture and soft smile that this happens to the best of us. Suddenly, I could feel their relief at not having some road raging lunatic losing the plot. What does this have to do with my soul? Everything. Expressing love in the world in the forms of kindness and patience can do wonders. Who knows what kind of ripple effect that can make. This great question inspired to me to communicate with love instead of fear in the form of impatience. On a final note. Over the last year or so I have been doing a little private social experiment. I had been noticing whilst driving how pedestrians approach and cross those zebra crossings. Here in Australia, when we approach these zebra crossings, the road rules are that cars stop and allow the pedestrian to cross the road. I had been noticing how most pedestrians just hop onto the road fully expecting cars to stop. Some don’t even look up to look at the drivers, let alone acknowledge the driver for stopping. So, I tried a little experiment. Every time (to this day) when I am that pedestrian, I give a gentle wave to the driver to say thank you for stopping. Most of the time I don’t even know if the driver has seen me waving. More at www.joepane.com.au