Part 2 – Therapy, Narcissistic Leaders, and Healthy Ego | An Interview with Tony Overbay

Tony Overbay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Mindful Habit Coach, and a popular motivational speaker. Tony regularly speaks at corporate training events, schools, and churches in formal and casual settings mixing humor, clinical experience, his Christian faith, and a wealth of personal stories gleaned from years of helping others achieve their goals. This is part 2 of a 2-part podcast discussion. Listen to Part 1 here. Highlights 03:20 Tony shares experiences people have had with a very harsh stake president 12:25 Leaders or sometimes therapists hand people a list of things to do in order to overcome addictions or whatever it may be. But what happens when checking off those boxes doesn’t help? 13:50 Typically people go into the bishop’s office with the energy of shame. The bishop needs to diffuse that energy. People should also consider other people they can talk to besides the Bishop. 18:00 A good question to ask an individual is, “Who do you feel comfortable talking to?” 19:30 Tony breaks down shame and where it comes from 24:50 We feel shame when we are unable to overcome certain behaviors or addictions. However, we are approaching it in the wrong way. We need to dive deeper into why we are doing what we are doing. 25:40 Tony shares his own personal experience on being human and making mistakes. We need to give ourselves a break because we are all just human having human experiences. 29:20 Leadership and narcissism. Too often people are throwing out the word narcissist when dealing with a difficult person. 30:45 What is narcissism? Where does it come from? 38:20 There is a healthy level of narcissism in all of us 40:20 We most often see narcissism in a negative light. There is also normal healthy narcissism. That could also be called a normal healthy ego or your sense of self. 44:10 Pathological defensive narcissism 53:30 Jesus had a healthy ego. He had a full understanding of His identity. 55:45 Tony explains confabulation 1:02:00 Dealing with narcissistic leaders 1:04:15 Internal validation versus external validation 1:12:30 There isn’t much we can do about a narcissistic leader. What we can do is set our own boundaries. Links Part 1 of this podcast Unhealthy Ways We Seek Validation As Leaders | An Interview with Tony Overbay The Bishop’s Strongest Tools to Help Addicts | An Interview with Tony Overbay Tony's podcasts The Path Back: Overcoming Pornography The Magnetic Marriage Course Tony's PDF of James Fowler's Stages of Faith Development Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning Why Am I the Last Person to Know What to Do with My Life?