Blame or Shame: The Nuances of Defensiveness

Marriage Lab - A podcast by Aaron & Jenna Zint - Mondays

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the...