7. Why Uncomfortable Conversations Will Enrich Your Life w/ Connor Beaton, Mantalks Founder

Why is it important for a man to be open and honest about his personal challenges, what he’s really going through in his work, his relationships, his life … especially with other men? When we hide what we’re going through behind a facade of invulnerability, what’s the cost to our lives, our intimate relationships, our vitality as Men? I met Connor Beaton a few years ago at an event his organization, ManTalks, was putting on in Los Angeles, right when I was in the middle of a 3-week breakup with my girlfriend. I was just being gutted by that experience, and going to Connor’s event – being around inspiring, inspired men, having honest conversations about our experience as men … was so helpful to me in navigating that painful experience. Fortunately she and I got back together a few weeks later – she’s now my fiance – and I also felt like I’d found a new friend in Connor. Since then, I’ve become a big Connor Beaton fan. His TedX talk on masculinity is one of my all-time favorites of any Tedx or TED talk. It’s brilliant, and will probably make you cry … and you should go watch it – AFTER this podcast. Mantalks is an international organization focused on men’s health, wellness, success, and fulfillment. And I believe one of the most challenging works any man can give himself to in this world is work that supports other men to get honest with themselves, to take real responsibility for their lives, including our messes and mess-ups, and learn how to be truly vulnerable in powerful ways that stop perpetuating darkness and insanity, but rather lift and light up our world, the world, and everyone in it. I know because I’m attempting that work. So is Connor … and big time. As I was preparing for this interview, reading everything I could about him, I actually had a moment of despair, because it occurred to me that he’s already doing so much to support men on their journey to being better husbands, fathers, leaders, so maybe I should just stick to focusing on supporting women and couples … or just go find other work altogether! But I took a few deep breaths and got over it, because truth is, we can’t possibly have too many men doing work to support other men, and what followed was a truly inspiring conversation between us that I’m honored and excited to share with you … Be sure to stay for Connor’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way… Alright … Let’s dive … SHOW NOTES 9:39 ~ Where is Connor Beaton challenged in his life right now? 12:45 ~ Grieving in transitionary periods in life 14:14 ~ Defining ourselves in terms of our outer reality 22:11 ~ What brought Connor to this work? 24:23 ~ The one rule of men 26:33 ~ How Connor’s life is made richer through his relationships with other men 31:41 ~ Men thriving off of battle and challenge 36:19 ~ What men have to celebrate about being a man today 37:02 ~ Power over versus power with 40:40 ~ The biggest challenge facing men today 48:41 ~ “5 KEY TAKEWAYS” FINALE 49:16 ~ KEY INSIGHT: Strive for internal validation 51:19 ~ KEY MAN TO LEARN FROM: Carl Jung, Father of Analytical Psychology Anthony De Mello, Jesuit Priest and Psychotherapist 52:41 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie, podcast): Book: “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello Podcast: ManTalks Podcast – Mantalks Podcast Episode with Beau Lotto 54:40 ~ KEY INVESTMENT (the best thing you spent money on, under $10,000): Audible – audiobook app Meditation coach or program 56:53 ~ KEY PRACTICE (7-day challenge to the men listening): Cold showers