165: Encore! Holiday Self-Care and Stress Reduction

Mom and Mind - A podcast by Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C - Mondays

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Do you find the holidays stressful? We would all have to say YES if we’re completely honest. For a pregnant mom, a postpartum mom, or a mom experiencing loss, the holiday obligations can be overwhelming in magnified ways. In today’s solo episode, we will discuss how to survive the holidays and manage stress by setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care. Show Highlights: The holidays: a mix of lovely things and difficult moments with the unseen pressure of motherhood to take care of everyone Boundaries are not easy, and sometimes confusing, but necessary Set boundaries around family, friends, spending, activities, and the time you spend with others Don’t be afraid to communicate what your needs are In spending time at someone’s house, have a set time limit or some kind of communication with your partner to signal when it’s time to go To figure out where you need boundaries, ask yourself, “What brings me stress? What do I find difficult?” Why we feel guilty for setting boundaries How anger and resentment toward others will develop when we don’t set boundaries How pushback from someone else can signal the need for boundaries It’s OK when you need a time-out from the tension of social situations Important skills include knowing when to say NO and when to say YES Why you shouldn’t feel obligated to do things that aren’t good choices for you Allow flexibility and compassion in considering your needs How saying YES and NO protects against resentment building up in relationships Ask yourself what you need when you feel anger, guilt, anxiety, and sadness If sleep and self-care are not on your holiday list, then you will feel depleted Sleep is essential for health and restoration, but especially for pregnant moms, postpartum moms, and moms with loss Give yourself permission NOT to do everything Steps to take to manage stress: Think about times in the past when you’ve ignored your own needs Figure out where you can make adjustments Find places where you can say YES and set limits Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty Why your new holiday regimen should be ways to manage stress, keep your energy level, and feel like yourself What feels restorative, whole, and good to you? Set intentions for baths, yoga, solitary walks, connection time with a friend, alone time, or time with your partner