180: There's More to My Postpartum Story

Mom and Mind - A podcast by Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C - Mondays

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My goal is for the show to be a mix of personal stories, expert interviews, information, and education. Even though my story isn’t usually at the forefront, I find that it’s powerful and meaningful to share my experiences, and that’s the focus of today’s episode. Join us! You know me as Dr. Kat, but my full name is Katayune Kaeni. I’m a psychologist, wife, and mother to two lovely humans. I’m perinatal mental health certified, and my entry into the world of perinatal mental health began ten years ago with the birth of my first child, my daughter. I’m proud of my children, and I look at this podcast as another beautiful creation that I’ve birthed into the world. Just like the motherhood journey, my four-year podcast journey has been full of many mistakes and lots of learning; we’ve covered many topics, but there is so much more to learn! To date, Mom & Mind is heard in 69 countries, with over 356,000 downloads and a horde of social media followers. Welcome to Episode 180! Show Highlights: For everyone with a perinatal mental health issue, there is always a story behind the pain Why and how my relationship with my body changed and began a different phase in my life How I knew at age 12 that I wanted to be a mental health counselor, even though I already was dealing with anxiety and depression In high school, a skiing accident left me with an ACL injury that required surgery, along with my first concussion In college, risk factors kept building as PMS brought panic attacks and more depression; over the years I tried doctors, diuretics, birth control pills, acupuncture, Chinese medicine, and energy healing In grad school, family stressors brought more depression and anxiety, and I met and married my husband; a biking accident led to my second concussion that wasn’t treated properly As I entered the world of employment, I suffered yet another concussion; other risk factors included anxiety, depression, being a highly sensitive person and a perfectionist, and then---my first pregnancy Because pregnancy brought me relief from PMS and hormonal craziness, I actually felt wonderful--better than I had in many years Ten years ago, in 2010, my daughter was born, and the problems began on Day 1 How I dealt with breastfeeding issues, poor sleep, and intense anxiety; the intrusive thoughts were overwhelming and embarrassing because of their sexual nature Why I never even told my husband how I was feeling--even a year into our daughter’s life As a psychologist, I didn’t want anyone to know that I was suffering, so I lied on a depression screen How I finally decided to make changes, and I started with learning more about perinatal mental health and helping others How getting past the shame, guilt, and embarrassment was a huge obstacle for me How I started accepting clients into my private practice and continued to learn more and more Today, I’m still triggered from time to time, but I can recognize the signs now better than before With my second child, I had similar experiences, but the problems were less intense because I knew what was happening How my PMS symptoms became worse and more difficult to manage after my two children were born How I’m taking measures to manage my mental health Why I want people to have a broader sense of perinatal mental health conditions My goal for myself is to learn to live with it well and have more opportunity for healing My healing isn’t complete, because life brings up things I have to deal with on a daily basis My goal with the podcast is to normalize the fact that we all struggle, and make it OK to reach out and get help Resources: Email me: [email protected] Find my website: Mom And Mind