187: Transition to Motherhood: Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum and Lessons Learned

Hearing personal stories gives us a unique insight into the nuances of the journey into parenthood, which differ from one person to the next. Today’s guest details her experience in ambivalence about whether having kids would be part of her life story. She shares how her journey into parenthood has shaped and grown her into the person she is today. Dr. Elise Sanchez is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, speaker, coach, and educator who lives in CA with her husband and toddler. She provides coaching, mentoring, and consultation regarding life transitions, education, sexuality, love, friendship, mental health, diversity, equity, and inclusion. Dr. Sanchez is the founder of Speak the Secret, an online platform created to provide community, connection, and collaboration with people who have a passion for growth and healing. As a new mom, Dr. Sanchez realized there was a long way to go in her healing journey. She created a group on Facebook, #MomLivesMatter, to provide resources, support, and community for moms. She aspires to help everyone she meets feel seen, heard, and understood,r empowering others to use their voice and share stories of strength, resilience, and hope is her mission. Show Highlights: Elise’s story of how she and her husband wavered back and forth about having kids and when to start trying The long process of Elise’s pregnancy, labor, and delivery How Elise learned to “lean into the pain” of giving birth How Elise tore and was stitched up in the traumatic aftermath of her daughter’s birth The difficulty of Elise’s postpartum care in the hospital The breastfeeding difficulty and pain that Elise mistakenly thought was “normal” until her daughter’s lip-tie and tongue-tie were discovered by a lactation consultant Why Elise regrets not listening to her intuition earlier Why the lack of sleep was the biggest postpartum hurdle at home for Elise The blessing of COVID-19 in giving Elise more quality time with her daughter The guilt and shame that Elise feels in expressing her dislike of many of the mothering responsibilities The struggle for Elise to find her new identity as a mom The need to talk about the darker and scarier side of becoming a mother, and why we need to normalize these feelings and prepare new moms for them What Elise wants others to know: “Therapy is valuable. Speak up, find support, and get help when you need it.” How it took about a year to recover and get back to “normal” The value in learning to be present in the moment as a new mom Hopeful messages from Elise: “Giving birth and becoming a mom humbled me and reminded me that I’m human. I have such appreciation for everyone who has kids because they do the impossible every single day. I have huge respect for them. We work like we don’t have kids, and we have kids like we don’t work. We are doing it all and ruling the world.” Resources: Instagram: Dr. Elise Sanchez Speak The Secret Facebook Groups: Mom Lives Matter