238: Pregnancy and Infant Loss: A Story of Loss, Healing, and Helping others

All through October, we are covering stories of those who have lived experiences of pregnancy or infant loss. As always with episodes with sensitive issues, please judge for yourself whether you are ready for this material. Know that the episodes are always available and waiting for you whenever you are ready. If you are ready, join me now for Jen’s story! Jennifer Burgard is a native of the upper midwest and is a mom to two living children and one who lives solely in her heart. Her titles include loss mom, living mom, wife, founder, podcaster, director, and most proudly–survivor. Upon the death of her second child, Jen set out to fill a gap in accessibility to resources, along with support and community for others also experiencing trauma. With personal experience of her own and her newly formed network, she launched Haven as a service to grieving parents in and around her region. Today, Haven has touched each of the 50 states with their healing gifts, podcast content, and online grief workshops. With a goal to bring awareness and understanding not only to child loss, but our grief culture in general, Jen is creating and building conversations through her podcast called Landscape of Loss. In today’s episode, Jen shares her story and talks about how trauma and PTSD around pregnancy and infant loss can look different from person to person. Her desire is to support families through these losses so they know more than anything that they are not alone.  Show Highlights: A look at Jen’s story of the loss of her second child, a son, at 39 weeks How what Jen thought was her water breaking was a bleeding incident that caused her to pass out and undergo an emergency C-section while under anesthesia How Jen’s husband broke the news to her about the complete placental abruption and the grim prognosis that her baby would not survive due to lack of oxygen What it was like to only have 13 hours with their son before he took his last breath and then to face the grief process How Jen began to blame herself and believe she was being punished with her awful fate How her husband helped bring her up from one of her memorable “rock bottom” moments How Jen coped with returning to work part-time, learning to function in public, and building up her “muscle” to protect her heart How Jen’s mind went to ridiculous scenarios and spiraled in new ways that made no sense How therapy gave her the tools to cope with PTSD and build on the healing that had begun How to know when you are “OK enough” to help other people–and how this helped Jen heal even more Why child loss will still make you feel isolated and devastated, no matter how good your support system is How connecting with others and finding community helped Jen see the way through her grief The kinds of support that families need for healing and recovery Why it’s important to talk about our losses and honor the struggles we feel in going through grief What Haven does to offer healing, support, information, and community Hopeful messages and helpful tips from Jen Resources: Connect with Jen:  Website, Facebook, and Podcast Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!