169: Supporting Teen Autonomy and Self-Determination with Researcher Ellen Galinsky

It is not productive to think negatively of our children's teenage years. Instead we need to find ways to embrace this time period and support the changes they’re experiencing while giving them room to grow, learn, and fail with us.  But it seems like all the literature out there is designed to scare and dishearten parents as their children reach these later years. What should we be reading?  Thankfully, Ellen Galinsky decided it was time to share the positive side of parenting teenagers.  Ellen is President of Families and Work Institute, elected President of the Work and Family Researchers Network (WFRN), and senior research advisor to AASA, the School Superintendent Organization. Previous jobs include Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and faculty at Bank Street College. Her life’s work revolves around identifying important societal questions, conducting research to seek answers, and turning the findings into action.  Her research is focused on work-life, children’s development, youth voice, child-care, parent-professional relationship, and parental development. She’s the author of the best-selling Mind in the Making and The Breakthrough Years. She’s also authored 90 books/reports and 360 articles. Career highlights include serving as President of NAEYC, a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources, a parent expert on the Mister Rogers Talks with Parents TV series, receiving a Distinguished Achievement Award from Vassar College and the 2022 Lifetime Achievement Award from WFRN. Listen as Ellen shares more about the research she’s done and how we as parents can lean into the teenage years in such a way that provides our children with opportunities to practice autonomy and self-determination.  In this episode, we discuss:  What teens want most from us as parents. Ways to give teens autonomy support. What shared solutions are and how we can use them to help our teens build their executive function. The five basic needs teenagers have. Resources: Message 1 Understanding Adolescent Development -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/understanding-adolescent-development Message 2 Talk With, Not At Teens -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/talk-with-not-at-teens Listening is Where Love Begins -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/listening-is-where-love-begins A Skill-Building Approach: Don’t Hold the Leash Too Tight-https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/a-skill-building-approach-dont-hold Shared Solutions: An Autonomy Supportive Approach -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/shared-solutions-an-autonomy-supportive Introducing a Possibilities Mindset -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/introducing-a-possibilities-mindset Message 3 The Power of Positive Risk Taking -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/the-power-of-positive-risk-taking Beyond Queen Bees, Wannabees, Masterminds, and Wingmen -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/beyond-queen-bees-wanabees-masterminds Age Discrimination Hidden in Plain Sight -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/age-discriminationhidden-in-plain Understanding Adolescent Development -https://ellengalinsky.substack.com/p/understanding-adolescent-development Questions:  What do teens most want from their parents? What are teenagers' 5 basic needs? What are shared solutions? How can these help our teens with executive function? How to support our kids with risk taking? Disclaimer: This podcast does not provide medical advice. The information on this podcast is for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices