EP 257: Breaking the Silence About Child Abuse with Bianca

This call is about healing trauma that comes from being sexualized as a child. Recent events have triggered today’s caller, Bianca, who was traumatized by her parents as a child. And, even though she was subjected to pitiful parenting, she still wants to love and protect them. We discuss the importance of making her healing a priority and how nothing that happened was her fault.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode257]   People who have been abused, especially by people they love and trust, are usually not quick to jump to anger. They may minimize the evilness of the actions.   So, when we are working with people who have been victims in any way, we have to have compassion for the side of them that loves and wants to protect their abusers. It often takes some time for them to get to anger and to take action because it is a deep and confusing entanglement for the victim.   We have to put ourselves in the victim’s shoes and realize they love these people. We cannot expect them to have the same reaction as we do. They cannot get to the anger and disgust right away because they don’t see their abusers as awful people. If the abusers are their parents, they may still be trying to get love from them.   If you have endured trauma and are ready to heal, know that it is not something you can navigate alone just by listening to a podcast, doing an online workshop, or reading some books about it. It is important to find a trauma-informed therapist.   August 28–30, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected]. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have online access to it for 30 days. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to rescue organizations.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Were you raised in what you know or think was an abusive environment but since you have no to very little memories you doubt it or even minimize it? Do you have sexual anxiety? Is it hard for you to feel relaxed when it comes to sex or even someone being affectionate, touching you? Do you dissociate from your body? Do you wonder if it’s because something not so right happened to you when you were a kid? Has there been someone in your life you love a lot, like a parent who’s also hurt you, and so it’s hard for you to face the pain because you love the person that hurt you and you want to protect them? Did what I shared about human trafficking rattle you? Are you feeling called to be involved to save the children from these horrific acts?   Bianca’s Question: Bianca feels sexual anxiety and would like guidance on how to start healing.   Bianca’s Key Insights and Ahas: Her parents groomed and sexualized her. Her father physically abused her. She has very few memories of her childhood. A recent event triggered her memories. She has a high tolerance for hurt. She wants to help her parents, not hurt them. She hasn’t found a compassionate therapist who makes her feel safe. She has a gentle side and a warrior side. She still loves her parents but may not be able to forgive them. She feels uncomfortable when her significant other is physically affectionate. Her body doesn’t know the difference between pain and pleasure.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Find a professional therapist to work with. Understand that nothing that happened was her fault. Make herself a priority, not her parents. Know that there is a way to heal. Follow the stories of other survivors. Find allies to help her heal.   Takeaways: If you are a victim in any way of mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, or sexual abuse, get help. Trauma is not something that heals on its own. It’s not like a cut on your hand that just scabs over. Professional help is a requirement. If you were activated by this episode and you want to get involved here are three resources, OurRescue.org, SharedHope.org, and DestinyRescue.org.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.