EP 328: Prioritizing Yourself Over Your Relationship with Aprisa

This episode is about prioritizing ourselves and our children. Today’s caller, Aprisa, is a single mother who looks to others to get her needs met. She had a traumatic childhood and has not yet healed her inner child wounding. We also discuss depression and how highly-sensitive people have more proclivity to depression because feeling big emotions can feel scary.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode328]   With single parents, the rightful roles of parent and child can get a little murky. It is important not to hide our emotions from our children. It is okay for them to see us sad or angry but we want to make sure they know it is not their responsibility. Sadness doesn't last forever but it is important to feel it because when we hold down our emotions they get stuck.    What often happens with people who are depressed is that they don't know what to do with their big feelings. They end up being distant, irritable, or sad. When what they need to get at is their anger, rage, grief, shame, and other big feelings. Oftentimes, when someone is diagnosed with depression it is important to look at the root cause and what else could be going on. And, many times the diagnosis of depression can be limiting.    When we suppress our feelings and are not connected with our inner child we can collapse into the subconscious programming, patterning, and time travel when we are triggered.   Be on the lookout for my soon-to-be-released Year in Review episode and join me in releasing 2021 and calling in 2022.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you an introvert or a highly sensitive person who has a proclivity to depression, especially when you suppress emotions? Have you found yourself parentifying a spouse or partner? Or, are you spousifying your child?    Aprisa’s Question: Aprisa is triggered by her traumatic past and doesn’t feel her needs are being met in her current relationship.   Aprisa’s Key Insights and Ahas: She is a single mother. She has abandonment trauma from her past. She just moved to a new continent with her son. She is currently in a relationship and puts her boyfriend before herself and her son. She has been clinically diagnosed with depression. She feels her needs are not being met. She wants to feel peace and not be triggered. She has big emotions and doesn't know how to explain them. She looks to her partner to heal her inner child. She gets triggered and emotionally falls back on her subconscious programming.  She is passing on her anxious attachment style to her son.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Reduce the burden on her son by reframing how she explains her depression to him. Create a secure attachment to her son to bring her closer to her inner child. Acknowledge her big feelings and realize she is not doing anything wrong. Connect to her inner child and love and parent herself with love and compassion. Resist the addiction to codependency. Prioritize herself and her son.   Takeaways: Listen to my Coaches Corner #286 — Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Remember, you have the power to transform and heal, no one else can do it for you.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.