EP 354: How Not to Be Afraid of Another Heartbreak with Gabriella

This episode is about how to get over heartbreak and open ourselves up to love again. Today’s caller, Gabriella, went through a recent breakup and wants guidance on how she can trust herself to not have her heart broken again. We never want to enter any situation hoping that what happened in the past doesn’t happen again. We discuss ways she can release her fears and open up to love to have a tender experience.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode354]   When we have a heartbreak, we tend to look at how we can prevent it in the future, but that is a limiting way to look at it. Instead, we can consider how we can leverage the heartbreak and heartache to open our hearts up even more.   After a breakup, ask yourself proactive questions such as:   What did you learn from the relationship? Who do you want to be, in a relationship? What do you need in a relationship? What are the red flags you may have overlooked?  How did you show up in the relationship that you don't want to duplicate?  What values do you have?   We learn to trust ourselves by taking care of ourselves. If you feel you need an extra layer of support so you don’t fall into the same hole twice, allow yourself a misstep or two. If trusting yourself is hard, take steps to make it easier. Take baby steps.   If you are nervous about making the same mistake twice or opening your heart again, think about the action steps you need to put in place so that you feel safer. When it comes to love, it is risky sometimes. We cannot prevent getting hurt. Love is tender but the risk is worth it. The reward of opening your heart and finding an aligned partnership or friendship is worth any risk.   If you feel that something is missing in your life you may be focusing too much on what’s missing and not paying enough attention or gratitude to what you have.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a breakup or maybe haven’t gotten over one from your past? Do you not trust yourself when it comes to making the right decision when it comes to your next relationship? Are you romanticizing your past relationship or are you a hopeless romantic? What do you believe the purpose of a romantic relationship is?   Gabriella’s Question: Gabriella would like guidance on how to listen to her intuition, trust herself, and keep her heart open to a new relationship.   Gabriella’s Key Insights and Ahas: She was in an intense relationship that ended recently. She believed her past partner was THE one. She is afraid of future heartbreak. She was blindsided and deeply hurt. She is in the beginning stages of her life. She became more self-aware and grew because of the breakup. She is a bit of a hopeless romantic. She had an inner child abandonment wound. She does inner child work and it helps. She is aware of her anxious attachment style. She doesn’t trust herself completely. She fears leaving people behind as she grows. She took some months away from dating. She loves being in love and partnership. She is in the middle of a career change. The ending of the relationship has been a catalyst for her breakthroughs. She understands that she is not in control and to go into new things with an open heart and open eyes.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Write a letter, something tangible, to herself about her red flags and share it with someone she trusts and ask them to hold her accountable. Make dating a discovery process about herself and the other person. Be grateful for the experience, do the healing, and move forward.   Takeaways: If you are going through a breakup or transition, consider the questions you are asking yourself and challenge yourself. Are they productive questions? Are they getting you anywhere? If you relate to being a hopeless romantic, take off your rose-colored glasses. Redefine what your definition of romance is. Remember, we may outgrow certain people. But it opens us up to meet people who are more aligned and more in the right vibration. Write out a plan of all the things you learned and the red flags you ignored.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.