Are You Fighting the Right War: Working Within the Facts, But NOT at the Cost of Connecting with the Feelings?

In relationships and personal growth, conflicts often become fixated on facts—what happened, what didn’t, and who’s to blame—while neglecting the deeper emotional needs driving these disputes. Facts feel safer and easier to articulate, offering a shield against vulnerability. However, this focus on logistics often leads to surface-level arguments that fail to address the real issues, leaving partners feeling misunderstood and disconnected. Beneath every disagreement lies an unmet emotional ne...