370: Yes, you can facilitate with confidence – with Tom Henschel

How product managers can get people talking Today we are talking about being a better facilitator. The ability to get a group of people to work together, exploring a problem, coming up with ideas, making a decision, and more, is a valuable capability for an organization. It is also a great capability for product managers and leaders. If you are not good at this yet, this discussion is perfect for you. If you are already an accomplished facilitator, I’m sure you’ll find some insights as well, to be even more effective. Our guest to help us with this topic has prepared many senior leaders, VPs, and CEOs to be more effective facilitators. He is an executive coach and started his coaching business, Essential Communications, in 1990, and also hosts the podcast “The Look & Sound of Leadership.” The list of companies with names we would all recognize where he has helped to improve leaders is too long to go into, but know he is the person behind many senior executives. His name is Tom Henschel. Summary of some concepts discussed for product managers [5:33] In your recent interview with Don Miller, you did an excellent job actively listening. How can we get better at active listening? Active listening is really hard. I’ve been working on it for years, and it’s a race with no finish line. You have to make an agreement with yourself that everything else can wait—you have nothing to do but listen. You have to let go of your ego. When I was talking with Don Miller, who is a big celebrity, I could have totally gotten into my head, thinking, “I have to do well!” I’ve learned none of that stuff matters. You have to get over it and do your work. I didn’t know how the conversation with Don would go, and I didn’t really care. Whatever was going to happen was going to be just fine. [10:54] What makes you a likeable person? I’ve worked really hard to be willing to focus on the other person. I’m happy if I listen to you for 30 minutes and you never know anything about me. As a coach, I turn the focus on my clients, but it’s not just for my job—if we met at a party, I would listen to you. My mother taught us how to chat with people by asking about them, so I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. [15:31] What are the benefits of being a good group facilitator? You get better results if you can facilitate the group. Otherwise it’s like a bunch of people driving in a bus where no one has the steering wheel. A good facilitator gets people talking. You can facilitate something you don’t know anything about. As a professional facilitator, I never know the content or jargon of the meeting, but I don’t need to. I’m only there to drive the bus; I don’t pick the road. [18:13] What are the characteristics of a good facilitator? * Be fearless of rooms full of people. * Stop being a participant and separate yourself from the team. * Be able to track the content and emotion happening in the room by answering questions like, What are we supposed to be talking about? What are we actually talking about? What is the emotional content in the room? * Be non-judgmental. Your job is not to scold, approve, or correct. Your job is to get to the goal. [21:00] What is a good outcome for a facilitator? Have a clear goal. As a facilitator, I have the wheel of the bus. I don’t own the outcome, and I’m not contributing, but my job is to get the group to the goal. I’m always paying attention to whether we’re moving toward the goal. [22:35] How can product managers be effective facilitators when they have a vested interest in the decision? Be transparent. When you’re a participant and not a neutral facilitator, don’t lead the conversation and then at the end state your opinion. Instead,