95: "The Feminist Promise That’s Destroying Families" - Erica Komisar

If you’re a stretched-thin boss babe, frustrated wife, or “do it all” mamma who just needs a second for yourself, join Kelly’s Free Exhale Masterclass.Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst and author specializing in maternal mental health.  In this episode, you’ll learn why early maternal presence is critical for a child’s emotional well-being, how modern feminism overlooked the developmental needs of children, why feeling bored with your baby may signal deeper psychological issues, the long-term consequences of outsourcing childcare, the link between attachment security and mental health and why prioritizing motherhood in the first three years can change future generations.Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years. A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Ms. Komisar is a psychological consultant bringing parenting workshops to clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings.She is a contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News. She is also a contributing editor for The Institute for Family Studies and appears regularly on Fox and Friends and Fox 5 News. Erica is the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety.Timestamps:[00:00] Introduction  [00:30] Why prioritizing motherhood is essential[01:45] The myth of work-life balance for women[03:12] Feminism’s impact on motherhood and career expectations[05:00] The consequences of trying to do it all[06:35] What children really need from mothers[08:20] How attachment security shapes a child's future[10:05] The role of instincts in mother-child bonding[12:10] Why some mothers feel bored with their infants[14:00] The link between postpartum depression and attachment[15:45] How generational trauma affects mothering instincts[17:30] The truth about institutional daycare[19:15] The psychological impact of a mother’s absence[21:00] Why maternal presence is irreplaceable in early years[22:50] How career-driven mothers can prioritize attachment[24:30] The long-term effects of early separation from mothers[26:15] Understanding the biological need for maternal care[28:00] How modern society devalues caretaking[29:45] Why fathers play a different role[31:30] The reality of work-life balance in early motherhood[33:20] How freedom and responsibility shape maternal choices[35:00] The impact of career ambition on mother-child bonding[36:45] Why true fulfillment comes from prioritizing relationships[38:30] How modern parenting expectations have changed[40:15] The importance of choosing motherhood with intention[42:00] Why achievement and career success feel empty[43:45] How to redefine personal success as a mother[45:30] Why self-care needs to be balanced with presence[47:15] The difference between necessary breaks and detachment[49:00] How babies experience absence, no matter the reason[50:45] Why the first 3 years set the foundation for life[52:30] The importance of legacy and emotional healthWant to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call hereLearn more about Erica’s work on her website and Instagram.Resources Mentioned:Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar | Book or AudiobookChicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety by Erica Komisar | Book or AudiobookEpisode 60 of Reclamation Radio: Choosing Motherhood | Spotify or AppleExhale Masterclass with Kelly Brogan | WebsiteInstagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here and join the companion program, Reclaimed, here.