The Damaging Effect of Keeping Score

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry discusses the phenomenon of keeping score in relationships and how it can be amplified by narcissistic tendencies. While scorekeeping is common in many relationships, it can become particularly unhealthy when combined with narcissistic behaviors. Narcissistic individuals may project their internal criticisms onto others, making it essential to understand and address this behavior for healthier relationships. Dr. Perry emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the need to challenge narcissistic tendencies before they negatively impact relationships. He encourages listeners to work on themselves continuously, much like maintaining physical fitness, to avoid self-induced life stressors. This episode provides practical suggestions on acknowledging others' perspectives and improving communication to reduce conflict. Key Points Covered: Understanding how scorekeeping can be detrimental, especially for those with narcissistic tendencies. How narcissistic individuals project their internal criticisms onto others, often without realizing it. Continually working on oneself to maintain progress and avoid negative behaviors. Acknowledging others' viewpoints and improving communication to reduce conflict. Identifying whether the goal is to defend, criticize, express, or comprehend to improve interactions. By being mindful of these behaviors and making conscious efforts to change, individuals with narcissistic tendencies can improve their relationships and lead more fulfilling lives. Dr. Perry stresses the importance of acknowledging others' perspectives and being aware of one's own behaviors and goals during interactions. If you find yourself becoming angry or upset during a conversation, pause and ask yourself what your goal is. Shifting your focus from defending or attacking to expressing or understanding can make a significant difference. Remember, overcoming narcissistic behaviors is a continuous process that requires attention to detail and a willingness to grow. Tune in to learn more about managing scorekeeping in relationships and improving your communication skills. Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Own Your Stuff Online Support Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠ Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support this podcast: ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recoveryforthenarcissist/support⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.