Performance Time Episode 15: Say It Ain't Slow

Third party trackersAre crowding my websiteAnalytics requestsAre bringing me downGuess I’ll just close my tabOh yeahAlrightFeels badInsideFour hundred requestsFor just one web pageMy mobile netwo-oo-er-oo-erkIs struggling to copeI’ll guess I’ll call insteadSay it ain’t slowYour site is unbearableSay it ain’t slowMy business is going elsewhereI can’t connect toAnything you doAll of your websitesAre timing outWhen I tryTo pay for the product that you had up onYour website just the other dayIt’s not coolSay it ain’t slowYour site is unbearableSay it ain’t slowMy business is going elsewhereDear websiteI try you, in spite of years of slownessYou’ve cleaned up, got faster, (even) using a CDN nowThis gigan-tic image, awakens ancient feelingsFrustration, desperation, all of your customers are goooooonneee…Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahSay it ain’t slowYour site is unbearableSay it ain’t slowMy business is going elsewhere