6 Ways To Generate Social Power

The more social power we can generate and build over time, the more fun we can have in social interactions. And improving our social interactions is one way to drastically boost the quality of our lives. An important question to ask is, “How can I build my social ability to connect?”  Before I made it a point and mission in life to consistently build my social capacity, I was limited in my ability to enter any conversation because of my fear of judgement, criticism, disapproval, and a doubt in myself that I’d be good enough in interactions. Then… I started treating social power like a muscle and found the tools and exercises that work to build it. Here Are 6 Ways To Generate Social Power => 1. Get free of feeling scared about what others will think about you. In order to exercise this in your life, apply the “If, Then Technique.” This works by asking, “If I say/do this, then what will happen (fill in what you think they’ll say or think about you)?” After you come up with your fear of what they’ll say/think about you, repeat the same question, “If they say/think that, then what will happen?” The point is to repeat this chain of thought until it gets absurd and you realize it doesn’t matter in the end what they think/say because you can handle whatever happens. Also observe that at the end of this exercise, you’ll always realize that what you are ultimately afraid of is feeling uncomfortable from what they say. If you can handle your uncomfortable feelings, then you can stay in the game socially. => 2. Ask The Right Questions (that get you out of your head and onto the people you are talking to). These questions include, “How can I add value here?” “What can I bring right now?” “If I put myself in their shoes, what would that be like?” “How can I get out of my mind and onto them?” What can I love about this person?” “What can I learn from this person?” The more you ask questions that give you ideas of how to add value in conversations, the more able you are to create fun, engaging social interactions. => 3. Let Go Of Approval Seeking. Approval seeking is trying to control everyone’s opinions of you so that they like you and approve of you. This is exhausting, not possible, and creates a fake version of you. The truth is, when you are your most bold and authentic self, some people won’t agree with everything you do. And that’s alright. If we all like the same things, then we’d all be robots. To be you is worth having some people not like or agree with some things you do. You’re okay as you are. To build your capacity here, seek to relate instead. This is adopting the attitude, “I’m just going to show up authentically and whatever happens happens. It doesn’t matter if he or she doesn’t like me, I like me and I’m consistently working on building a better version of me. I can handle rejection or disapproval.” => 4. Conduct Social Experiments. This is giving yourself mini-confidence challenges, the point of which is to step out of your comfort zone so you can become more comfortable over time with the social actions that scare you. Through facing uncomfortable social interactions, you will break through to peace and comfort on the other side. You can apply friendly greetings and give yourself the challenge of greeting 25 people in a row and see how many hi’s you get back. The point is to greet with a more energetic, bold, and confident version of you. And if some people don’t say hi back or give you a weird look, great! Lean into that discomfort because it isn’t about how they respond, it’s about your becoming comfortable expressing yourself however you want without fear of what others think. Other mini-challenges include asking for 100 dollars, asking for free meals, asking to try on an article of clothing from someone such as shoes, hats, jackets, etc. You can also share something of yours with someone like almonds or chocolates and work on withstanding any rejection that may occur. => 5. Apply The Reinvention Technique. This is about asking yourself, “What situation would I like to show up way better in?” And then imagining someone who can, and channel that person’s energy! Picture how someone would act in a social interaction in the way that you’d like to act and then mimic that person! This is a great way to influence your actions. Because by thinking about that person’s actions, you now have it in your mind what you want to do. Then, just say, “3, 2, 1, go!” and do what that person would do! You can think of a mentor in your life to model. => 6. Build Your Assertiveness. This is about building your capacity to take care of yourself. One way to do this is to apply the “No” exercise: say no to invites you don’t want to accept. Basically, say no to anything you don’t need to do and you don’t feel is a heck yes for you. You’d be surprised how much more liberated you’ll feel when you build your ability to say no. Another exercise is the “disagreement” drill: this is disagreeing with someone when you have a different perspective and then sharing your perspective. The more you can handle disagreements, the deeper you can go in conversations because the more perspective and opinions you’ll share with others. Furthermore, you can even challenge someone who is treating you bad and speak up, saying something like, “I don’t like (insert whatever you don’t like)… and I’d like for us to do (however you want to resolve the issue). The point of applying these exercises is to generate more Social Power over time. This is a lifestyle. Social confidence and power is like a muscle. The more we work them out, the stronger we get. By applying these tools into your life, you’ll build your capacity to be the REAL you, saying and doing whatever you want to because you fear not what others will think about you. Your Challenge! Apply one of these exercises until you have a good grasp on it, and then move onto another. Focus on one at a time until you feel great about all of them. Remember, it’s not about taking giant leaps, it’s about taking steps in the right direction. Just keep moving step by step, day by day. And before you know it, you’ll be on the peak of your social game! Until we speak again, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So go out there and be who you are! I’ll talk to you soon! 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