How to Talk to Anyone

Have you seen people who are totally relaxed and comfortable walking up to people they don’t know and starting a conversation with them? Have you ever wondered how they do that? Today, I’ll be sharing a powerful conversation secret that you can apply immediately to drastically improve your ability to talk to anyone, even people you don’t know. Having conversations is actually easier than many of us think. We don’t need “magic phrases” or get advice from “pick-up” artists who tell you to say things to manipulate people into liking you. Nope. That’s unnatural, flawed, and people can pick up on it when you are saying things just to look good or buy their interest. Instead, the most powerful way to have conversations is always to be the real you. To talk from your natural energy and curiosity. And, before we can get to a relaxed, engaging, and fun conversation with someone after greeting someone, we need a bridge. Otherwise, we’ll fumble for words and enter that awkward silence. Or, without a bridge, we can go too deep into a conversation too quicky like if after saying, “hey, how’s it going?” you say, “what are you doing tonight?” (most of the time, people aren’t going to feel comfortable sharing that information without a bridge). So what is the bridge? The Bridge The bridge is something you say to bring you from a greeting to a relaxed, fun, and engaging conversation. The easiest way to create a bridge is to comment on the shared environment. If you see an attractive stranger walking down the street. You can go up to her and say, “hey, how’s it going?” And then, what do you say? What do you say next to avoid entering “awkward city” where you fumble for words, and then eventually just “mission abort” out of there. You comment on the first thing you are drawn to in the shared environment. So let’s say she has a sweet jacket on. You could comment on the jacket by saying, “that’s a sweet jacket. Looks really nice. I like the design.” Boom! There’s a bridge from saying, “how’s it going?” to inviting her to share a relaxed conversation with you. You might now be wondering what to say next. How do we keep that conversation going? How do we never run out of things to say? It’s easier than you might think. And before we get to that, let’s make sure we know how to nail down greeting a stranger. The best way to greet anyone is from a place of familiarity, meaning, you greet them as you would greet a friend or someone you know really well. What we don’t want to do is be overly formal like “Hello there, how do you do, ma’am” To get to a relaxed conversation, we need to bridge the gap from strangers to friends. So now that we’ve nailed the greeting and the bridge, how do we keep the conversation going so we never run out of things to talk about? Use Key Words Everything you need to know about what to say next is contained in what the person just said. And you choose either to respond with a statement or a question. For example, you’re on a street and you see an attractive woman. You: Hey, how’s it going? (warm, friendly, casual, familiar greeting) Stranger (attractive woman): good. You: That’s a really sweet jacket you’ve got. I love the design and patterns on it. Stranger: Thank you. I just got it yesterday. It’s super comfy. PAUSE! What are the key words in what she just said back to you? 1) Just got it yesterday and 2) super comfy. From here, you pick which topic you are most drawn to. For me, I would go with the super comfy option. And then, you make a statement or a question about that topic. You: Ya, it looks super comfy. Do you know what material it’s made of? And she may or may not know the answer or even give you a very long reply. And the point is to be able to keep it going by commenting on key words from what she does give you. If she doesn’t say much, then, that’s ok. Not everyone is meant to always want to keep a conversation going. There could be something going on with her in her personal life, preventing her from wanting to be social. The point is that you are able to create bridges and invite people to keep talking by expounding on key words you find most interesting. Your Challenge As you go forth this week, take opportunities to 1. Greet warmly with familiarity 2. Bridge closer to a relaxed, fun shared social experience by commenting on something in the shared environment 3. Keep the conversation going by listening to key words and commenting on the ones you find most interesting to expound on Until we speak again, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So go out there and be who you are. I’ll talk to you soon. To maximize confidence in every area of your life at rocket speed, get your (FREE) ebook, "5 Steps To Break The Anxiety Barrier" here.