SJ111: Apple financials, eye-opening benchmarks, all the new gear examined, OS updates, and more

We finally hit the black hole of so much news in one week that the shields couldn't take it, cadets, so we had to split the news atom into two parts -- Apple's big iPad + Mac event in our special report, but even so we have a full hour of specs, details, secrets, financials, and analyst freakouts from Apple's quarterly report and some mind-melting benchmarks as Apple hits a record 100 million active users. Co-Captain Mike was overwhelmed with the repairs and thus bowed out for this week, and only he knew the combination to the stasis chamber ... so we couldn't get Malcolm out of cold storage. So this week, we welcome best-selling tech author and tips maven William Gallagher as we go over the money, the new iPad Pro, and the new Macs with a fine tooth comb. Charles and William put the lie to the analyst hysteria over sales and forecasts, celebrate the wearables and services gains, ponder the question of Apple's rising ASPs and the future of the non-pro MacBook ... or the 13-inch function-keys MacBook Pro, for that matter. The storage pods are full and there's much more news mining to do, cadets, so we're pushing into hyperdrive till we reach the next human colony in for Thanksgiving! Oh, and don't forget to stick around for the bonus track on this week's episode -- an alternate ending!