Am I addicted to my relationship?

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Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea, coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth? Are you addicted to love, or do you wonder if one of your friends is addicted to love? What is love addiction and how do you know, how do you know what is happening in your life and in your love or in your non love life? If you are interested in discovering what love addiction is an are you addicted? You wanna listen to this podcast, welcome to the Dr. Aaron podcast. We come together to know the truth, live on spiritual principle and align with universal law. We truly believe and know that when somebody awakens, they have a gift and message to bring to the world and together we're awakening the world. (00:56): So I am a doctor of divinity. Why we consider ourselves doctors is because we truly heal to revealing truth. And I absolutely know what it is like to be in the suffering and in the dysfunction and in the addiction of love. So today I wanna just answer that one question. Am I addicted to love? I'll never forget the day. I asked myself that question. I was in a tumultuous relationship and I remember focusing on him over and over and over again, thinking if he changed, if he healed, if he did all of his work, then everything would be good and I'll never forget it. I was, um, I was in a codependency meeting. It was a 12 step meeting and I was talking to a friend in there and I think he asked me something like, how are you? What's going on? And I began to rattle off all the things that was happening with, uh, with the man. I was in a relationship. He did this. He said that, oh my gosh, can you believe it? And I'll never forget. He looked at me and he said, what are you gonna start focusing on him? What are you gonna stop focusing on him? And why don't you start focusing on yourself? (02:19): Bam, shut the whole entire stop me in my tracks. It was like a, it was like a screeching halt in a race car, making skid marks across the racetrack. What? Me? No, even though I was even in codependency meeting, I still was there to try and think that I would change myself to fix him. You know, that's how sick I was. So today you may be asking yourself, am I addicted to love? And as you guys know, I work with soul-based entrepreneurs, spiritual coaches. And so you may be asking why are talking about love addiction, right? The point is this, is that what I have found with working and developing thousands of people across the globe is that until they deal with their relationship issues, they do not have true, um, true success in, in their personal professional life. And, um, I'm also here, as you guys know, to say that the concept of relationship in our culture is something that is very limited. (03:32): And I have met people that are not in relationship that can be the most healthy, thriving human beings. Um, and I've met people who are in marriages that could also be the most miserable people I've ever met and vice versa. I've met people in loving relationships, completely thriving, and I've met single people, completely miserable. So I do not believe in a title or a relationship status to be somebody that is healthy in relationship. I truly believe that the ultimate relationship is with your higher self it's with divine it's with that aspect of yourself. And I was actually on a conversation in a meeting the other day with someone who said, they'd actually had a, a marriage with themselves. They actually had a ceremony marrying themselves as their partner in this life. And being able to fully be expressed and be in relationship, but being fully complete as themselves. (04:28): And I'm not here to say that's good or bad, or, you know, we should be, you know, let go of gender and become X, whatever. I don't, I don't have an opinion. I think that each person has a freedom of choice to decide what works for them in relationship and whatever it is for them to fully, um, be in self love and fully at peace and fully in expression and connection at the same time. So why do we care about answering the question? Am I addicted to my relationship? Am I addicted to love? Am I codependent? What's going on? How do I figure this out? So one, some of the signs, I'll just say that after I'll work with a CEO or a single mother or whatever it may be. And what I find is that, um, the people who are addicted to love generally are it's impacting their life. (05:22): It's impacting their life in whether they are being a roller coaster with their emotions. So they're not being able to focus on the present moment, wherever they are. So addiction tends to have people basically, um, be thinking about the past or be thinking about the future. Is it gonna happen? Is it not gonna happen? Right? Or they're not present right here. And I remember specifically, so some of the signs that I went through were this, I remember, um, like looking at my phone a lot. Has he texted, has he not texted? What did he say in that text? What is he doing? And I'd be like, almost compulsively wondering where is he at? What's he doing? You know, is he lying? Is he telling me the truth, all the stuff. And, um, some of the signs, I just remember being, um, I would, I would, we'd get to, as we call it the vicious cycle or the merry-go-round. (06:16): And there was times when I would basically get so, uh, entangled with him and enmeshed with him that I would lose track of all my other friends and family. I literally would like almost morph into a different universe, almost like a heroin addict. When they take drugs, they become euphoric. They kind of let go of everything. Oh, food, money, family, friends, none of that matters only this, this, um, you know, substance over here, this love addiction over here. And then the merry-go-round would complete it cycle. And then we would break up or have some dysfunctional thing. And then I would slam back into reality, just like the heroin addict that just can't get the next hit. Right. It's like withdrawals and feel like crap. And all of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh, I, you know, I need friends and family and I need to make money and I need all these things. (07:10): Right? So some of the ways you can tell if you are addicted to love is because you're having a negative, negative impacting your life, you know, straight up. Okay. It also can be where, um, to go further with it, because I've gone to the opposite side where, what we call it is being an anorexic and love addiction. Okay. So you'll see this, um, even with, you know, entrepreneurs and impacts people I work with, um, and it's impacted myself where, when you deny yourself of love and connection and you just go, well, I'm just gonna not have any dysfunction whatsoever. I'm not gonna even date at all. And therefore, what happens is your soul slowly dies. It's like literally the anorexic that stops eating and you, you know, the life starts getting sucked outta them. They start turning pale and they have no nutrition and they're alive, but barely. (08:09): So it's the same with that going to that spectrum. And are you addicted to your relationship or addicted to not having a relationship, right? Is it negatively impacting your life? And what happens is, uh, what happens with working, say with someone who's trying to sustain a multiple six figure company or something, and they're denying themselves of love and connection and expression, they put into box. It has to be a certain way. They're not good enough. And they just keep pushing people away, keep pushing away. They're basically, you know, total anorexic in it. And, um, what happens is the soul begins to die. I know it, well, I I've done it, you know? And, um, and you begin to basically just your, your whole mojo, if you will, your whole thing begins to go down, right? Your, your entire zest for life begins to go down. (09:04): If you don't have some love and expression, it doesn't have to be in the construct of say a relationship. It doesn't have to be, but you need to be around relationship. Whether it be friends, whether it be, um, you know, loved ones, whether it be whatever you begin to just die a little bit. So how do you know, you know, and answer the question, am I addicted to my relationship? Well, addiction is really easy to define, and it is, is it negatively impacting your life? You know, there's a spectrum of addiction. You can be an addiction where things are beginning to become negatively impacted. And there, then there's a little bit further, right? Where it's like, um, yeah, this isn't working like truly, and truly, you're either getting so upset in your relationships that you can't focus or get anything complete, you know, or it's just beginning to you're dying just because you're denying yourself of everything. Right? So roomy has a quote, the famous roomy. He says your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. (10:13): I think that so often in our lives, we seek somebody to fulfill us, to complete us as Jerry McGuire. You know, the famous saying in, um, Jerry McGuire, you complete me. And in meta, in mind, science and mind, we teach that if you place your power outside of yourself, you will be disempowered. It's that simple. It's 1 0 1 of metaphysics. The moment that you place your power outside yourself, or put your relationship as your higher power, or put a substance or put your career, or put your status or put your age, or put your body or put anything outside of yourself, you actually will become disempowered. That is the power of consciousness. So the goal in all of life and in love and in relationship, whether it be with your friends or your family, or your peers, or, um, a intimate relationship or a sexual relationship or a dating relationship or a marriage or whatever, because all of life is a relationship. (11:20): The goal is to have love, connection, and expression. Everyone. I don't care who you are, everybody. Every soul that is, that is the glue of unity. That is the glue of oneness. That is what we teach. That is our primary principle in new thought global and in the new thought movement. So are you addicted to love? Addicted to love is basically a tug of war. I want it. I don't want it. I gotta have it. I can't have it. I love you. I wanna break up. Oh my gosh. I wanna seek my per person and then finding everything wrong with them. A girlfriend, me sent a really funny meme the other day. It was like two pictures next to each other. And on one side, the woman's like, I really wanna find my person. And then on the other, uh, side, the picture she's sitting across from this guy a