Danielle LaPorte | How to Be Loving | Cancel Culture & Beyond Trauma

Danielle LaPorte is a member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100 a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.”  The former director of a future studies think tank in Washington, DC, where she managed a team creating global scenarios. She now speaks about the intelligence of the heart.  Her most recent book, How To Be Loving…when your heart is breaking open and the world is waking up, is also an Audiobook + ebook, with a companion deck and journal. Danielle is also the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, The Desire Map, White Hot Truth, and producer of dozens of meditation kits and online programs for spiritual support. Danielle is the creator of the Heart Centered Membership and the Heart Centered Leadership Program with 400+ leaders in 30 countries hosting conversation circles, retreats, and workshops in all kinds of communities and businesses. Her podcast, With Love, Danielle, often ranks in iTunes’ top 10 for wellness. Most of her offerings—from the Heart Centered Membership to her online classes—are on a pay what you choose basis. Named one of the Top 100 Websites for Women by Forbes, millions of people a month visit DanielleLaPorte.com. Marianne Williamson refers to Danielle “as a bright light.” V (formerly known as Eve Ensler) calls her “a force field of energy, wonder, humour, and love.”  Her charities of choice are Ally Global Foundation, helping survivors of human trafficking to rebuild their lives (@allyglobal), Trees Sisters’ reforestation projects (@treesisters_official), and VDay, a movement to end violence against women and girls (vdayorg).  HOW TO BE LOVING When you turn to the heart, you uncondition your mind of all kinds of social programming. The intelligence of Love dissolves eons of dogma that tells us to prove our “worth” and sort who’s superior or inferior. Spirituality is really the practice of thinking with Love. And we can effectively train ourselves to keep returning to Love via our thoughts over and over again.  Being Loving doesn’t necessarily mean feeling more. It means feeling everything with more Love.  It’s the ultimate inclusiveness. Because in your heart, it’s ALL IN—your light and your shadows—and everyone else’s. This is the non-dual place where complete Self acceptance has room to grow.   This call for gentleness is counterculture. And it’s what we’re yearning for. We do not need to focus on “fixing” ourselves. As we focus on living from our heart center, anything that’s not in alignment with that Light falls away.  How To Be Loving is a nuanced perspective on the life changing power of Self Compassion, shadow work, and being more receptive to Higher Guidance. This is a guide on how to use the genius of your heart to create conditions for healing. www.soulciete.com www.instagram.com/drerin.tv  @drerin.tv  www.drerin.tv  Grab your FREE gifts and Universal Law Oracle Cards: https://www.spiritualawakeningcards.com/oracle-cards-order-now TRANSCRIPTIONS: (00:00): In today's world, there can be completely stressful times. Isolation, dysfunction, cancel culture, divided viewpoints, polarized news being driven into our consciousness everywhere. Well, today I want to share a very special guest with you on learning how to become loving. Let's dive deep into what does it mean you guys? How are we gonna do this? How do we actually be loving in the midst of all of this divided, polarized, fear, hate, and all the above? Welcome to the Dr. Erin podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul's purpose, and manifest your dreams. Hi, I'm Dr. Erin. Dr. Divinity. I'm committed to bringing you the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I'm here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are, and I believe in you. Together, we're awakening the world.  (01:11): Hi, my soul family. I'm super excited to share a very special guest with you today, Danielle Laport. She is a member of Oprah's Super Soul 100 Group. Danielle is a creator of the heart centered membership in the Heart centered Leadership program with over 400 leaders and 30 countries hosting conversations, circles, retreats, and workshops of all kinds of communities and businesses around the world. But who she really is, for me is somebody who is steeped in love, really truly committed to divine work to the world. I'm super excited to dive deep with this soul sister today to really discover and inquiry into how do we love even deeper. So how are you? I'm so excited to just dive deep and feel into your heart. You know, I watch you online, I know you through many of my peers and girlfriends and stuff, And the thing about you, Danielle, is that when I watch anything, your story, anything, I feel like I'm home. I really authentically feel like that. I'm like, ugh, I feel like I can exhale when I come into your presence, which is really says a lot about who you are as a leader, and I'm sure it's taken you some time to fully ground into all of it. How are you? Mm-hmm.  (02:26): , I feel really calm right now. Like it's this, um, it's more glide than grind.  (02:34): Yeah.  (02:36): And you know, this is, we're in a book campaign. This is like birth mode, birth and promote mode. And it feels, I'm aware more this time of just, uh, thought forms. Like really, this will be as easy as I think it will be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  (02:56): Totally. Totally. So let's dive into this because you know how to be loving, like, let's, this is challenging right now in this world. I, I don't, I mean, I don't know. I think that as we know, the universe is expanding all points in time and I do believe the frequencies are getting more intense. And then we have social media, which is amplifying everything. I, I mean we have this polarity that is just off the charts from the cancel culture to, you know, every viewpoint to everything going on. How in the world do we be loving in the midst of all this? Mm.  (03:34): You have to want to be. So I think it starts with that. Like, um, I think now is the time to choose a side, but you choose the side that includes everybody. It's like, you know, uh, so this is your free will. You're gonna use your self agency to play for love, to be more compassionate. All those things that we know love our, but it's a choice. Like, we have to start there. This is Choicefulness.  (04:04): Yeah. Yeah. I remember back, I used to be very codependent back in the day. Mm-hmm. . And I remember someone asked me, What is your definition of love? And I had all these different, you know, conversations of what it should be. And then someone said, Love just is, this was like a long time ago. And I was like, Whoa, that's like so deep. You know, . And it's like,  (04:25): Whoa, what does that mean?  (04:27): Yeah. What does that mean? Right. But then of course, as you know, getting developed and all the work and diving so deep into divine and having our own revelations and enlightenment, there's such moments of oneness. Mm-hmm. , but then human beingness comes in as well. So what is it about this book? What is it for you? What does it mean to you writing this book?  (04:51): Well, it feels like a love letter to the part in all of us who know that love is actually the game changer. And it's time to start acting like that. That love isn't just something we do when we're at home or with our friends or our family. It's something we need to do in how we design politics and educational systems and medical systems. Like it needs to be included in the highest levels mm-hmm. of society. And it's time to stop leaving it at the door. When we walk into different environments, like, and this means our language shifts. We use the words , we show up with our compassionate vocabulary. It means our tone is different. It means we prioritize differently. It means we get in touch with a holy anger instead of the ego anger that just wants to be right. Like that our, you know, all the justice that everybody's so many of us are seeking for and choosing sides about that really, it's about like, what's gonna benefit everybody that takes daring and courage and it's like complex conversation, but it only works if it benefits everybody. Or at the very least, if you're aware of how your decisions in your community and your workplace and your vote with your dollar, All of the things, even with in your own family, how you're gonna cause harm or how you're gonna benefit all the players at the table or find, you know, get everybody to the table to start with. But, which  (06:29): Brings up a really important point. So you talk a lot about, you know, the desire and I think that we've been so driven off of desire and goals and really playing into a vision of embodiment maybe the whole time. But then we go to this place of virtue I've heard you speak about, which I think is really the paradigm, the biggest paradigm we're going through as a, as a globe, as one family, as a unity that we are of like, how do we go from really producing cuz we have to survive going to virtue. And and what does that mean? Because we're, I mean I know I've gone through the hustle phase of my career and getting burned out and, and going through all that and then going, what am I actually doing if I'm not enjoying this process mm-hmm. , then I'm completely outta my own principles. Mm-hmm . So what does it look like for you? Let's just take a particular case. Let's pretend somebody's out there, they've gone through some dysfunctional relationships cuz nine outta 10 people go through dysfunctional relationships, right? Maybe they're dealing with money issues and maybe they need to go out and go into sales to try and make it happen. How do I live virtuously and actually get something done?  (07:43): You have to look at the origin of desire. So Buddhism teaches that desire is a cause of suffering. So it's the clinging, it's the wanting things to be the way they aren't desire is an emotion. Emotions come from the unconscious self. So it's not the conscious part of ourselves that's wanting, cuz when you, when you're more conscious, we're awake, enlightened, not that any of us have gotten there, but when you move towards that, you know, higher vibration, you're gonna want for less, you'll be more present with what you have. Nervous system will be much more regulated. So you're not hooked. You know, it's not the hungry ghost that's driving you. So the evolution of desire is I think aspiration. So I'm not, I'm not wanting, needing, striving. I like go crush my goals so that I feel more worthy and get the love I never got from whoever I needed it from.  (08:44): I'm aspiring, I'm using, you know, we talked about free will earlier. I'm using my free will to align with a higher way of being. So you can still want all the things, you can still wanna crush your sales goals and you can still wanna of course make a difference in the world, but it's on behalf of loving kindness. It's for benefiting everybody. So you go from like kind lower vibe, wanting and doing whatever you gotta take to get it. And those do or die goals, which you're gonna burn your adrenal system. You're gonna wake up one day and go, Why have I been running to, you know what? I'm setting an intention from my heart, from the my most conscious place, from my center to embody love in all I do. Okay. That's clear. You send a clear signal to all systems, you will think differently. Yeah. You will go after different things. You'll go after them in a different way. Mm-hmm.  (09:50): . So I wanna get vulnerable here. I consider you a peer and you know, we're both in the world doing work and stuff And one of the things that I think has been shocking in, in doing this work for me was I didn't realize some of the challenges that were gonna come along with it. And, and not to bring up anything that other than total respect for you, but I remember one of the first times I heard about you and, and you were getting kind of like a cancel culture type of a thing happening around one of your other books. And I remember thinking I had so much respect for you cuz I thought that would be really hard. But you handled it so beautifully and so powerfully. And I, and I have always remembered that in the moment when I was going through something and with, with clients and cuz we know we can't please all clients and we can be as loving as possible and think we're doing everything in harmony and think we're just, you know, fulfilling upon contracts and someone can think we're the worst person in the world or view and take it differently than we intended mm-hmm.  (10:47): . And so I just wanna speak to that because I think there's people out there because you can be as loving as possible, but someone may not think you're being loving mm-hmm. and they're gonna be totally offended by no matter what you do, you can have the greatest intentions and be loving and want the highest for everyone, but there's always gonna be people that see you as as not that  (11:09): Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm . You cannot control what anybody else thinks or feels or does. Uh, we're all unhealed, everybody is carrying some degree of trauma around with them. We are living at a time where it's just getting, it's just, just projection festival . Um, and that's helped me. I mean that my awareness of my own wounds and that kind of self intimacy has helped me meet things more gently without being pulled off my center. Like I know my intentions, I know the conversations I have with my heart. Mm-hmm. , I, I know where my fears are as much as I can be conscious right now and I'm gonna abide in that I'm gonna have some patience for other people's wounds and opinions. Mm-hmm. and not always easy, but that's it. And also I think, you know, just seeing, I think especially with women on the personal development path, it a here's the irony.  (12:21): It gets harder to see everybody as our reflection. Like I just think, oh yeah, the universal principle at everybody's, my reflection that applies except for there's no way that guy and that behavior, that narcissism or that manipulation, whatever,