Lineage Trauma - Healing the trauma during the holidays

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Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth (00:19): Today? I'm gonna get super vulnerable about my lineage trauma. And as we go into the holidays, I recognize that it can be beautiful, beautiful season, and it can also be one of the hardest seasons for people. No matter if you have family around or you are alone during the holidays, or you love your family, or you feel like you get triggered every time you're around your family. I think it's a really important conversation to have as we go into this beautiful and intense season so that we can really truly see through the triggers. See through the upsets in the family, see through the distance, see through the heartache, see through all the grieving, see through all of that so that we can stand in the light of love and really know the truth of who we are and see through the veils and the walls of our family, through the triggers, through all the upsets, through all that, so that we can hold miracles, miracles, miracles. (01:24): Welcome to Dr. Aaron podcast. We come together to know the truth, live on spiritual principle and align with universal law. We truly believe that somebody has a gift and message to bring to the world and together we're awakening the world. So I'm Dr. Aaron, Dr. Divinity, founder of new thought global and society. I am an international bestselling author winner of the 2020 Walden wisdom award with Oprah Winfrey. Great Braden and Michael Bernard Beckwith. And most importantly, I'm a mother, I'm a friend and I'm somebody who is deeply, deeply passionate about you ending your suffering and really, truly living your best life in total freedom. And as I well up in tears right now, I have mixed feelings of joy and also feeling the suffering that is out there in the collective, and that still lives in my family. And so I am here to serve and to really bring the wisdom of the universe, bring my heart and really lay it out on the line today. (02:24): So I have a, I don't wanna say I have a different family, cuz I don't think there's a normal family out there. I have come from a family that on my mother's side, my grandmother was given up. Uh, she was given up for adoption when she was a little girl because her mother I believe was, um, was very young when she got pregnant. And so my grandmother on my mother's side, uh, was not exactly the nicest person. She was a very cold woman, very mad and angry at the world. And I remember going there as a little girl and my mom didn't want to go. We, the longest we ever went to her parents' house was one day. That was it. And it was very uncomfortable. And I remember my mom being very upset a lot and we would usually leave kind of, um, she, my mom would be kind of upset or pissed off or whatever it was and never understood as a little girl what was going on. (03:27): And, and I just remember my mom herself, she was really pretty much emotionally unavailable growing up. I love my mom and I'm good with my mom, but my mom's really never been available. She would be kind of, you know, drinking or with the next relationship or whatever it was to kind of numb her feelings. Like so many of us have done in our lifetime and she really just wasn't there. She wasn't emotionally there. Um, I remember being in junior high and she started drinking a lot and she'd be at the bar majority of the time and there wasn't food in the house. And I was really just didn't understand. I didn't understand, um, what it was like to really truly feel like I was loved. And I think through that process, I, I built up a lot of walls, of course, in my lifetime before doing my trauma work. (04:22): And before finding all this work, my father's side of the family was, um, was different. And yet the same, my grandmother on his side was actually one of the most loving women and really was a pivotal, uh, point in my life and person in my life to teach me love and, and, and really a level of love that I had never experienced my father, however, was really trying to find himself. He had his own traumas from kind of the abuse of his father and, um, and different stuff that had happened in his life. My father ended up, um, divorcing my mother and going off and having another family. And you know, of course I had abandonment issues from that and blah, blah, blah. Right? So you're hearing a lot of stuff. And the reason why I'm sharing all this is because I know that majority of you guys out there, especially if you're, you know, have had a spiritual calling, especially if you're listening to this right now, I know that you have trauma lineage trauma. (05:23): And, um, whether it be from, you know, stuff going on from your, your mother's side or your father's side or both sides, and maybe you are totally disconnected from your family, or maybe you are with your family, but you have failed expectations or you get triggered. The point is that this is the deal. None of us are going to be okay on our deathbed. If we're not connected and loving with our family, it is a soul assignment. Yes. We get to pick our soul family in this lifetime, our friends and, and our community, but our family is a soul assignment. And I know as I look at my mother and my father, that they're the perfection of who they are. And so I'm gonna tell you today, a few things that have happened in my life and my heart to be able to truly love them. (06:16): And I'm gonna cry right now because I love you, mom and dad, I know you're probably not listening to this, but you need to know that. I love you. I understand the pain that you've gone through. I understand the divided perspective that's happened within your consciousness through your own trauma, and I'm gonna get really vulnerable right now. I spoke with my mom this morning at 7:00 AM her time, and she was bawling. Her and my sister had gotten into an upset yesterday and my mom was gonna be going over there for the holidays. And my sister kind of had a few things she had to do during the time she was over there. And my mom took it as it. She doesn't love her. And she decided that she canceled her whole trip to go see my, my sister and my sister, both of us have gotten into my sister's a cognitive therapist and has diving deep into this work. (07:17): And I think the blessing of where we've come from is that we it's demanded us to do our inner work. It's demanded us to dive deep into, um, our healing work and discovering what's really, truly going on. And my mother was drunk this morning on the phone, whether it be because she drank so much last night, that she's so hungover, but she literally was, you tell, was slurring her words. And, and I just held her in my heart. I held her in my heart. And I think that oftentimes with family, we think, well, they did this. They, you know, X, Y, and Z, whatever circumstances going on, you know, that we try and make the circumstance wrong or what they did wrong or whatever. But the truth is that what's really going on is people are sad because they're not fully connected and it's just gonna project out. (08:24): We know that no matter what my sister said or didn't say to my mom, my mom probably would find a reason to, to have her trigger come up in her command that her trigger is I'm not wanted and I'm not lovable like so many of ours. Right. And we'll find the case. We're like, um, we're literally like lawyers in the courtroom finding proof for our case. And our case is I'm not a enough, I'm not lovable. You know, one likes me, whatever it is that divided perspective, something's wrong with me. I don't wanna live, you know, whatever the, whatever the command is that has come in through the traumas of this lifetime and in the lineage. (09:09): And as I hold my mother in my heart, you know, some things are out of our control. Yes, we have. Um, my mom has gone through some trauma work. Not very, not very much, you know, a lot of people will say, okay, I'm finally ready to change. And they do two sessions. And they think that, you know, it worked or didn't work. It's a commitment, you know, going in and doing your deep work. We, we have lifetimes of, of work and it takes some time to really, truly get in there and do the work. My mom has actually come a long way. This is very unusual what's going on. But what I know for sure is the perfection of it. And we have to know that, but the perfection of it is that sometimes we make, you know, strides ahead and then we fall down again and then we make bigger strides and we may fall down again. (09:58): And I know in my heart, my mind right now, the perfection of where my mother is, because I know that she has a choice, just like all of us in this lifetime, we're either gonna do our work and break our, our lineage trauma or we're not. And man, it sucks when people don't, but we also have to know the perfection of that. Sometimes people aren't meant to do their true work in this lifetime. And sometimes the next, you know, breakdown demands us to say, I have to change me. And so speaking with my mom this morning, even though she was intoxicated, even though she was in a real upset, she also said a couple things. She said, I'm so alone. What do I need to change? What can I do to change myself? And that's the first time I've ever heard her say that? (10:53): What do I need to do to change myself, to change my life? That's the very first time she said that. And I don't know if she's gonna remember that when she's not intoxicated, but what I know in my heart is that nothing's gonna change until we change ourselves and we can't change our family. But what we can do is we can stand for truth. We can stand for the healing. We can stand with open hearts and tough love sometimes. And I know the same for my son and for all the lineage to come in my family. (11:35): I love my son. I love my sister. I love my father. I love my mother. I love my, my half brothers and sisters. I love my sister, my half sister. I've never met. I have a half sister. I've never met that half brothers and sisters don't even know about. I don't think, but what I know is that the more vulnerable I get, the more transparent I get, the more real and raw I get. The more I get to experience love and d