A to Z Dear Jack 28 | "In a Holiday Gift Quandary"

Dear Xochitl and Jack,I hope this email finds you ASAP. I find myself in a bit of a sticky situation, and I'm desperately seeking your wisdom to get me through this unexpected conundrum.So, I'm currently on a Christmas date with my incredible boyfriend at this insanely fancy restaurant. The ambiance is magical, and he just surprised me with an unbelievably expensive Christmas present. I'm talking about jaw-dropping, multiple-times-more-expensive-than-what-I-got-him kind of surprise.Now, here's the kicker—I had to excuse myself to the bathroom not once, but twice to collect myself. I didn't want him to see the internal struggle I'm going through right now. I'm genuinely touched by his generosity, but it caught me off guard, and I'm not sure how to handle it.Should I give him the gift I got for him, even though it feels like pocket change compared to what he gave me? Or should I come up with some elaborate excuse to avoid the whole exchange and prevent any awkwardness?I'm typing this from the bathroom on my phone, and I can feel the seconds ticking away. Your advice means the world to me, guys. I need to make a decision, and fast!Sincerely,In a Holiday Gift QuandaryTranscript:00:00:00JackDear Jack.00:00:04JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I'm here with my co-host social. And today I have a dear social and Jack e-mail from one of our students. Actually, this is a a text message. I don't think we received it in time to help this person, but.00:00:22JackWe can try to give them a little help.00:00:25JackAfter the situation, so let me let me read the e-mail here really quickly and then you'll understand what I'm talking about. Dear, social and Jack, I hope this e-mail finds you well. I'm in a bit of a pickle and could really use your wise counsel on how to navigate through a delicate situation and for our listeners.00:00:46JackThere, when you say in a bit of a.00:00:47JackPickle means I'm.00:00:49JackI have a problem. I'm in a pickle. I have a problem.00:00:54JackLast night, my boyfriend and I went out for a special Christmas dinner at a fancy restaurant. Everything was going well and the atmosphere was perfect.00:01:04JackHe surprised me with an extraordinarily expensive Christmas present and I was truly taken aback by his generosity.00:01:15JackThe thing is the gift he gave me is many, many times more expensive than the one I got for him.00:01:24JackI'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I excused myself to the bathroom a couple of times during the evening to collect my thoughts. I didn't want him to see that I was struggling with this.00:01:38JackUnexpected turn of events. Now I find myself confused about what to do next. Part of me feels I should give him the gift I got for him, even though it's not as good as the one he gave me. On the other hand, I'm afraid that it might make the situation.00:01:58JackAwkward or hurt his feelings. I genuinely, genuinely appreciate his thoughtfulness and generosity, and I don't wanna do anything that might over shadow the joy of the moment.00:02:10JackSo social and Jack, I'm turning to you because I respect your opinion and would love to hear your perspective on this matter. How should I handle this delicate situation without causing any discomfort or making him feel like he went overboard? Thank you so much for your time and guidance. Sincerely caught in a gift.00:02:37XochitlThat can happen.00:02:39XochitlAnd I think it's OK I think.00:02:41XochitlA lot of there are a lot of factors to consider. One does he make significant?00:02:45XochitlGently, more money than you or like, do you. Are you having any financial struggles or anything? Because in that case I think it's perfectly excusable. And he'd probably understand and expect that you won't be giving him some lavish gift.00:02:59XochitlTwo, how thoughtful was your gift? Maybe it wasn't as expensive, but was it something that you put a lot of thought? And.00:03:09XochitlLike energy and effort into? Because if so, then I believe that he would appreciate it. Anyway. Things don't have to necessarily be equal in monetary value as long as they're equal in thoughtfulness. I think that's enough.00:03:24XochitlAnd three, I would say just have a conversation say, hey, look, I really, I appreciate your gift. I'm feeling kind of embarrassed because for XYZ reason, I didn't really go all out for you this year and I wasn't expecting such a thoughtful and expensive gift from you.00:03:42XochitlUM.00:03:45XochitlYou know what can I do to make make it up to you? Like maybe think ahead of time and try to. If it wasn't a very thoughtful gift, try to get him a more thoughtful gift, even if it's not an expensive gift or you know, as we know, I'm a huge proponent of the experienced trip or whatever. So you could plan some kind of.00:04:06XochitlIt doesn't have to be a trip or anything, but just some kind of.00:04:09XochitlMemory. Beautiful memory experience that you guys can do together.00:04:16XochitlThat I think would be equally as thoughtful.00:04:19XochitlJack, what do you think?00:04:21JackI'm going to go.00:04:22JackTake a little bit of a different.00:04:23JackAngle here I think.00:04:26JackMaybe this is an old fashioned viewpoint, but I think men like to.00:04:33JackEmpress to Woo, Woo is like attract, you know, so.00:04:38JackI think.00:04:40JackYou know I.00:04:40JackI don't think he's. I don't think he's measuring. You know what I mean? I think if it were between, like 2 friends and one friend spent $100 and the other friends spent $500, then that's an awkward situation because you, you're. There's a miscommunication there. Like, it's not.00:05:00JackYou know what, I.00:05:01JackMean you're not spending this the same thing?00:05:04JackBut even then it could be it could.00:05:05JackBe because one person makes a lot more.00:05:07JackMoney and so.00:05:08JackSo you know, they felt like I could be more generous and I don't expect anything back. And so I would say if you know.00:05:15JackIf he's your.00:05:15JackBoyfriend. He he loves you. I don't think he's really concerned about how much you paid for it. I think like what you said. It's the thoughtfulness that went into the gift, you know?00:05:30JackIf he's really into gaming and you got him a game that he really wanted, yeah, it might be a fraction of the price of what the thing that he bought you.00:05:43JackI mean if.00:05:44JackHe wants to splurge and spoil you. I think you know, like, let him and don't feel.00:05:50JackGuilty about it?00:05:52JackThat's my feeling. I I don't think she needs to feel like.00:05:58JackShe's her gift is somehow below. Yeah. Giving him, like, I would just give the gift. I I think not giving him anything would be worse because it would be kind of like I don't even. I didn't even think about you. You might mention something.00:06:03JackThree-year.00:06:10XochitlRight.00:06:17JackAnd say like.00:06:18JackI'm a little bit embarrassed.00:06:20JackThis is no nowhere near.00:06:22JackAs you know, expensive as what you got me. And he might say. Yeah, I know. I know. We, we we discussed you know only $100 but I love you. I wanted to do something special for you. And so I think it's OK to spoil each other in a relationship sometimes. I just don't think it's OK to spoil someone.00:06:42JackAnd then expect to be spoiled back.00:06:45JackAnd and and have hurt feelings when you when it doesn't.00:06:45XochitlRight, right. Like you're.00:06:49JackHappen, you know.00:06:51XochitlRight, right. Like he he probably or we're.00:06:54XochitlHoping he gave it to her.00:06:57XochitlWithout expecting anything in return, like he didn't give it to her to get something equally as amazing back, he did it for her because he wanted to make her happy. And in that case, yeah, I don't think she has to worry about necessarily matching his gift dollar for dollar or, you know, effort for effort as long as.00:07:06JackRight.00:07:17XochitlYou know you.00:07:19XochitlYou're trying on your end, UM, and that and that will happen over a long term relationship of time together there's sometimes where, for example, with my boyfriend last Christmas.00:07:28XochitlMiss my gift was.00:07:32XochitlMore thoughtful than his. And then for our birthdays this year, his gift was more thoughtful than mine for his birthday.00:07:40XochitlSo it's just you.00:07:41XochitlKnow it's where you're never gonna meet each other.00:07:43Xochitl100%.00:07:44XochitlRight where you're at.00:07:46XochitlEvery single holiday, because sometimes you have more money, sometimes you have less money. Sometimes you had other expenses that month.00:07:52XochitlUM, sometimes you had other family obligations or expectations, or friend expectations or obligations, and just whatever can happen. There are a lot of different things that can come in the middle and you are just rarely.00:08:06XochitlYou know, be exactly eye for an eye like a relationship isn't transactional in that way.00:08:13JackShould never be transactional exactly, and if he has a temper tantrum, then this there's that's a red flag in the relationship.00:08:24JackThe fact that she's so worried about it, I mean, it makes me think that they're kind of newly dating, so they're kind of figuring this stuff out a little bit. So he's trying to impress her and she's, you know, kind of on not, I don't wanna say defense. So, but you know what I mean? Like, he's pursuing her. But they did say their boyfriend and girlfriend.00:08:43JackSo they are.00:08:43JackA couple they must have been dating for.00:08:45JackWhile I.00:08:46XochitlRight.00:08:48JackI I just.00:08:48JackI really don't see any problem with this at all, as long as her gift is is thoughtful, I don't really think the price is the is the most important thing. I think the thought the thought behind it is what really matters and and he must understand.00:09:00XochitlRight.00:09:05JackHow much money she makes, she must know.00:09:08JackWhat kind of money she makes, and maybe he makes a lot more money. And in that case, then he could probably has the has the freedom to spoil her with nicer gifts and he.00:09:20JackProbably wants to.00:09:21JackDo that because he loves her. So I would say don't feel guilty. You're this is. You're letting your own self esteem.00:09:28JackKind of get in the way of enjoying this and I would say just relax, take a deep breath, give him your gift, accept it graciously and enjoy the night. And. And don't ruminate about about it, because it's just gonna ruin your evening. So that would be my advice.00:09:48XochitlYep, I definitely agree. Listeners, what would you do if you were in this situation? If you were in a pickle like this? Tell us what would be your reaction? What would be your response and what would you do to remedy the situation? Or do you think it's not a problem at all kind?00:10:04XochitlOf like Jack and I.00:10:06XochitlThat as well, let us know in a comment at A-Z englishpodcast.com shoot us an e-mail at AZ [email protected] or shoot us a message on our WhatsApp.00:10:17XochitlGroup or on our WeChat group. And if you have an question that you would like to ask us or some advice that you would like to get from us, make sure to shoot us an e-mail about that as well. Again at A-Z, [email protected] and we will talk to you guys.00:10:33XochitlNext time bye bye bye.00:10:34JackBye bye.Podcast Website:https://atozenglishpodcast.com/a-to-z-dear-jack-28-in-a-holiday-gift-quandary/Social Media:WeChat: atozenglishpodcastFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/671098974684413/Tik Tok:@atozenglish1Instagram:@atozenglish22Twitter:@atozenglish22A to Z Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/theatozenglishpodcastCheck out our You Tube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCds7JR-5dbarBfas4Ve4h8ADonate to the show: https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/donationsRobin and Jack started a new You Tube channel called English Word Master. 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