Culture Corner | Dos and don'ts when meeting your significant other's parents

Become a monthly subscriber for just $1.99 per month and receive an additional two to three episodes per week!https://app.redcircle.com/shows/9472af5c-8580-45e1-b0dd-ff211db08a90/exclusive-contentIn this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack give you a list of dos and don'ts when meeting your significant other's parents for the first time.Transcript:00:00:00JackHey A-Z listeners, this is Jack here.00:00:03JackAnd if you would like to become a an exclusive subscriber to the show, you can hit the link in the description and that will take you to our Red Circle page, where for $1.99 a month you will get access to an extra two or three episodes each week.00:00:23JackAnd be careful, don't hit that donation button if you want to become an exclusive subscriber because the donation button is just a one time donation. However, the exclusive subscriber button will give you access to the extra two or three episodes.00:00:42JackEach week.00:00:44JackSo make sure you hit that exclusive subscriber button if you want access to the extra episodes.00:00:52JackNow let's get on with the show.00:00:55JackWelcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and today we are and I'm with my co-host social of course. And we are in the culture corner and we're talking about what do you do when you meet the parents of your, of your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time, you know?00:01:14JackWhat's the what kind of etiquette do you like behavior? Should you display? What? What should you do? What shouldn't you do so social? Do you have like a list of dos and don'ts?00:01:24JackFor for our our listeners out there who may be like meeting their significant others parents for the first time.00:01:33XochitlYeah, I know. I we just had an episode talking about how you can dress like a slob anywhere in America, but a first date and also meeting a parent. Parents are two occasions where I would.00:01:39JackYes.00:01:44XochitlNever do that.00:01:46XochitlSo you want to go and kind of business casual attire, which means a nice dress shirt usually, or a polo. Or it could be a crisp, a clean looking solid color, no logos, no designs well fitted T-shirt and then neutral.00:01:54JackYes.00:02:06XochitlDone.00:02:07XochitlAnd a pair of either nice clean, no tears, jeans or a pair of slacks. Kind of casual khaki, black, neutral tone slacks. And you can wear, you know, a pair of clean, crisp white sneakers or some casual dress shoes. Don't.00:02:19JackYeah.00:02:26XochitlGo in as a man wearing like rocks or like sandals. And and if you're a woman, just go in a nice.00:02:37XochitlKind of also neutral toned or it can be.00:02:42XochitlPattern and it doesn't really have to be a neutral tone, but just kind of a tasteful dress. Nothing too crazy, nothing too extravagant.00:02:51XochitlMight wear something neutral, might wear something in a light pink or blue or something like that, but just a simple casual floral dress with a little cardigan is and your footwear is also more relaxed. You can wear a pair of clean tennis shoes like white, crisp tennis shoes, a pair of.00:03:01JackYeah.00:03:11XochitlLittle sandals if it's hot anything, but just make sure you look presentable.00:03:18XochitlAnd that's a big one for.00:03:21XochitlLooks duos.00:03:23JackAnd I'm going to say most of the time we we have an expression. Don't don't judge a book by its cover, but in this situation your, the, your boyfriend or girlfriend's parents are definitely.00:03:38JackJudging the book by its cover, so make your cover look good.00:03:40XochitlYes.00:03:44XochitlYeah, want to look.00:03:44JackBecause you are being judged.00:03:47XochitlYeah, you want to look presentable. You want to look clean. Clean cut is the phrase we use really often in the US, which means somebody who is, they're, well, shaved, their hair grew.00:03:57발표자 3No.00:03:57JackLook like me right now is.00:03:59XochitlYeah, don't have this crazy beard. Or like, if you're a woman like, you know, do your hair nicely. You don't have it, like, looking really disheveled, show up, clean, fresh, showered, looking simple, easy makeup for women and.00:04:14XochitlAnd just keep it really, really simple. Don't over complicate it, but just look nice. And then for other does for cultural and social does, I would say they're gonna ask you questions about yourself. So be prepared to answer questions like what your major in college is what you do for work.00:04:35XochitlHow long you've been working there, questions about what your parents do. They might ask you, oh, you know, what does your dad do? What did your?00:04:41JackAnd you what are your ambitions? What are your goals? Yeah.00:04:45XochitlYeah. One of your inventions, it's kind of old fashioned to be like. What are your intentions with my daughter back in the day, people did that. But and now I think you can be relaxed. They know that if.00:04:50JackYeah, yeah, yeah. Well.00:04:59XochitlYou're bringing someone to meet the parents is usually a serious relationship in the US and and so.00:05:06XochitlYou know, don't be too intimidated. Get to know them. Ask them questions about themselves too. What do they do for?00:05:12XochitlWork and and humor them. They're probably going to tell embarrassing stories about your significant other or show you embarrassing pictures. Just kind of chuckle along. Be a good sport.00:05:24XochitlDon't get into politics. Don't get into religion.00:05:27JackYeah, no politics, no religion for sure. Yeah, avoid that.00:05:29XochitlNever. Never. If they try to beat you. Like if you're from a different religion or other politics and they try to bait you into a conversation, which means they try to say something to upset you.00:05:41XochitlJust ignore it and change the subject.00:05:44XochitlIf they keep trying to do it, look at your SO.00:05:46발표자Like.00:05:48JackYeah. Get Me Out. Help me out there. Yes.00:05:49XochitlThat, yeah, you don't have any, you know, reason to stay if you're being disrespected. And I know it.00:05:55JackRight.00:05:55XochitlCould be but.00:05:56XochitlAlso keep an open mind because a lot of times.00:05:59XochitlPeople are going to be meeting you with the best intentions and they're not going to do anything to be intentionally rude, but because you're from two different cultures, they might accidentally offend you. So just keep a an open mind and if you find anything weird or offensive, just ask your significant other about it later.00:06:15JackYeah. And go see, listen to our other podcast about table manners, because all those table manners apply.00:06:22JackYou know, again, no slurping, no burping, you know, no chewing loudly with your mouth open, no cursing. Don't swear. Watch your language. OK, some people.00:06:22XochitlPlease.00:06:34XochitlIt's OK to accept a drink because a lot of times they'll offer you a drink. It's OK to say yes if they offer you to drink, but don't get drunk. You know, this is like a one drink of.00:06:43JackDon't get drunk. Yeah.00:06:45XochitlThere maybe a 2 drink. I would say one just stick to 1 drink. You know you won't get drunk and just stick to that.00:06:52JackYeah. And you and most likely you drove there. So you know you, you know, drinking and driving is you know it it might be a test like you know ohh is this person going to drink and drive with my daughter in the car or my you know that that could be another another thing so you know there there could be traps.00:07:13JackSet for you.00:07:14발표자 3That.00:07:15JackDon't fall into these traps, you know.00:07:15발표자 3Yeah.00:07:18XochitlRight. I think it's OK to accept one drink, especially if it will be a while before.00:07:21XochitlYou drive, I think.00:07:21JackYeah, yeah, yeah, one like you said. One, it's a one drink affair. It's not a party. It's not a party. It's not a cagar. Yeah.00:07:25발표자 3The one in one? Yeah. Instead of. Don't get lost. Don't.00:07:34XochitlCompliment do do compliment their home. Say oh you have such a nice home. Bring a gift if you know they drink. You can bring a bottle of wine or you can bring some flowers for them.00:07:44XochitlMom, those are two gifts that usually go over well, or you can bring something from your home country, like traditional candy, something like that. So.00:07:54JackYeah. Don't show up empty handed. That's terrible. Bring a gift. Yes, that's a good point.00:07:58XochitlIt's a bad match.00:08:01XochitlAnd gift and.00:08:05XochitlUh.00:08:07XochitlI guess that's pretty much it. Do a firm handshake. This is if you're a man. This is a really big thing in US culture. When Father offers a hand for a handshake, it has. You have to do a firm handshake. Don't give him a death grip like you're trying to rip his hand off, but don't give him this limp, weak handshake. They won't make a firm handshake.00:08:12JackYeah.00:08:25JackYeah, we call that the dead fish where your hand is like a dead fish, you know? No, you gotta. You gotta squeeze back. You gotta give a firm handshake back. That's uh, that's important. Yeah.00:08:26발표자 3Thing.00:08:28발표자 3But.00:08:35발표자 3Right.00:08:38XochitlAnd if you don't drink, UM, it's OK to say no. Like, if you are a person who doesn't drink and they are free to drink, it's it's OK to be like, Oh no, thanks. I don't drink. That's fine. And if you have any kind of restrictions of your diet because of your religion or your culture or your allergies or whatever, it may be, make sure to let them know ahead of time if you're going to be eating there. So, like, tell your significant other so they can.00:09:02XochitlInform their family.00:09:04XochitlAnd then you won't have to worry.00:09:07JackYeah. Don't let the mom prepare a a huge meal of pulled pork and then you show up and go ohh. By the way, I'm vegan. It's like that should have been told to her a long time before. So.00:09:14XochitlRight.00:09:18XochitlYeah, or I'm Muslim or something. And then they're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. And they're embarrassed. You can watch that if you've ever seen twilight the movie, you can watch the scene where she meets Edward.00:09:20JackYeah.00:09:31XochitlFamily for the first time. And then she eats before going because she knows they don't eat because they're vampires and they're making this big Italian meal for her and then everyone gets angry. So yeah, just avoid. That's a great example of how to meet the parents because she dresses nicely and they're trying to be polite and everything. So just kind of.00:09:52XochitlGo with that.00:09:54XochitlNo, not too much PDA.00:09:57XochitlIt's kind, it's inappropriate, so please first time.00:10:00JackMaybe holding hands about, that's about it. That's the most you do, yeah.00:10:02XochitlYeah, holding hands is even like that's that's that's a good level to keep. Only at that you know.00:10:09JackThat's the highest level. Yeah, holding hands.00:10:11XochitlThat's the highest level.00:10:15XochitlYeah. And again, just just take it as an opportunity to get to know them. If there's a serious relationship, you'll probably be seeing a lot of their families. So you want to get to know them and complement, Slattery gets everyone places you want to flatter the mother. That's the easiest route.00:10:28JackYeah, this is this. Food is amazing. This is delicious. Thank you so much. You know? Yeah.00:10:29발표자 3So.00:10:34XochitlHave such?00:10:34XochitlA beautiful home. This food is amazing. You.00:10:37XochitlLook so young.00:10:39JackYeah, you don't wanna. You don't wanna. You don't want to. You don't want to pack it on too thick there or whatever. But.00:10:40발표자 3Look at.00:10:46XochitlYou don't want to be too obvious, like if the lady looks 80, then don't say wow. You look so young. But if she actually looks young, like if she's 15, she looks 35. She's gonna be over the moon to hear that. You know, so don't do the cheesy line. The man walks and he goes. Oh, are you your sister? Please.00:10:48발표자Yeah.00:10:56JackYeah.00:11:06XochitlDon't do that. That's so cheesy.00:11:06JackYeah, don't do that. Yeah, that one.00:11:12XochitlAnd yeah, just you know, compliment her on her home, her food. Uh, thank them for their generosity at the end.00:11:19XochitlOf.00:11:19XochitlThe night? Yeah. And try not to overstay your welcome. Be that a reasonable hour.00:11:25JackThat's usually not a problem usually. Usually you want to get out of there as soon as you possibly can, yeah.00:11:28발표자 3There's still.00:11:31XochitlYes, you smell good, right? But you know, so, yeah, I think those are the big meeting, the parents dues and don'ts. If it, how does meeting the parents go in your cultures? I'm really curious to know because in the US, once it's a serious relationship.00:11:46XochitlThat's when we progress to meeting the parents. I know in other cultures you might meet them right off the bat. The parents might actually meet each other, and then you'll meet your significant other later. You might not meet the parents at all until the wedding. It just depends on the culture. So we're very interested to know, leave us a comment down below at AZ englishpodcast.com. Shoot us an e-mail at AZ English.00:12:[email protected]:12:08XochitlAnd join the WeChat. What's the group? So you can talk to Jack and I directly and see you guys next.00:12:12XochitlTime. 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