143: Fed Up: How to Balance Emotional Labor in Your Relationship with Gemma Hartley

Over the past year my husband and I have been on a journey in figuring out how to be more balanced in our roles at home. We noticed that my husband did a lot of the visible labor, like dishes & laundry, while I did most of the invisible work, like holding emotional space for my kids' big feelings, carefully considering the play and reading materials in our home, and planing meals. A part of our work this year has focused on both of us fully recognizing and acknowledging all of the invisible, emotional, and mental labor that I do every day. I have to tell you, I've never felt more seen and heard in our family, but getting here wasn't always easy. ​ A big part of what we need to grow s a couple is an opportunity to learn from teachers who aren't me, so that I can learn alongside my partner, rather than be the one teaching him. It evens the playing field a bit and allows for more vulnerability. Part of that is reading books together and discussing them weekly, like a couple's book club. And one of the books we read was Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley and I was thrilled to get the chance to interview her for the podcast this week! Gemma is a freelance journalist, speaker, and author who has spoken on the topic of emotional labor around the world, from corporate conferences to festivals at the Sydney Opera House. She is passionate about creating a more equitable world in which invisible labor is valued and supported by both personal partners and public policy alike.​ ​ I'd love to hear from you on this topic! Do you and your partner have balanced roles? Is emotional labor & mental load something you're actively discussing together? Let me know! ​ If you want to know more about how to balance your emotional labor with your partner, visit www.gemmahartley.com and follow Gemma on IG @gemmalhartley.