“I Trusted The Lies”

How does it feel when a man betrays and lies to his partner? Devastating, heartbreaking, confusing, empty. Julianne Cusick, co-founder of Restoring The Soul, joins Anne Blythe on the free BTR podcast to share her own story of experiencing the devastation of betrayal. Read the full transcript and listen to the BTR podcast for more. "I Trusted The Lies": The Trauma of Discovery Before discovery, many women feel that something is "off" in their relationship. They often blame themselves and try to change to become "better". However, betrayal is not a marriage problem - it's his problem. When men disclose the truth about the betrayal, or victims discover the truth for themselves, women can experience a severe traumatic episode. Julianne shares what discovery was like for her: It was shortly after our third wedding anniversary, when I caught him in a lie, that things started to unravel and he said the dreaded words that any woman would hate to hear, which is, “There’s something I need to tell you.” At that point, he started to disclose his struggles, his secrecy, and his behaviors over the last year that I had no idea was going on. Julianne Cusick, co-founder of Restoring the Soul Self-Care After The Trauma of Discovery After discovery, many victims experience feelings of: * Grief * Sorrow * Numbness * Terror * Anger * Rage * Depression To cope with the intensity of these emotions, victims can practice daily self-care. Even if it's only moments day, women can: * Nourish their bodies * Stay hydrated * Breathe deeply * Cry * Talk to a safe person When victims practice self-care, they are better able to process the trauma and begin taking steps toward safety and healing. The Trauma of Constant Lies and Manipulation Gaslighting, outright lies, blame-shifting, and withholding the truth are ways that unfaithful and abusive men protect their abusive behaviors. Tragically, constant manipulation takes an emotional toll on victims psychologically, mentally, and even physically. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw3oX2VtU_U When women begin to see the extent of the manipulation, they can re-experience the trauma of the initial betrayal(s) and experience new trauma. The confusion that accompanies gaslighting can be so intense that women can have trouble deciphering reality. "I Trusted The Lies": Seek Support Now When you’re living [in a manipulative relationship], actually seeing it is so difficult unless you’ve got a multitude of concrete examples and you’re also tuned in to a network of other victims, which is why we have the Betrayal Trauma Recovery group. Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery