Minute 112: This Dirty Business

THIS WEEK’S HOSTS: Jeff Ferry and Chris Derkotch from The Jay and Silent Bob Minute “- needed your help,” says The Professor.  “Well, you’ve got it, alright!” shouts Roger. “Don’t be angry,” says Eve.  “Do you think I’m going to let you go through with this dirty business?” asks Roger.  “She has to,” explains The Professor.  “Nobody has to do anything,” says Roger. “I don’t like the games you play, Professor.” “War is hell, Mister Thornhill,” says the Professor. “Even when it’s a cold one.” “If you fellas can’t lick the Vandamms of this world without asking girls like her to bed down with them, and fly away with them, and probably never come back,” says Thornhill, “Perhaps you ought to learn how to start losing a few cold wars!”  “I’m afraid we’re already doing that,” replies the Professor.  Eve breaks free of Roger’s hand, and runs toward her car. Eve jumps in the convertibles and starts it up. Roger runs toward the car. The Professor signals the Park Ranger.  “I’m not going to let you do this,” says Roger to Eve. “Now, really don’t spoil everything now, please!” says Eve struggling to drive away. Roger opens her car door. There’s a tap on his shoulder. Roger turns around, only to be met by the Park Ranger’s fist. Roger is knocked to the ground, sprawled across the pine needles. Eve drives away.  In a hospital room later that evening, Roger, wearing only a towel, paces back and forth. The radio news reports on the shooting: “– in full view of scores of men, women, and children, who had come to the park to see the famed Mount Rushmore Monument. Witnesses to the shooting described Kaplan’s assailant as ‘an attractive blonde, in her late twenties,’ Kaplan, who was removed – “