Validation - 10 SMART skills to become better people!

Oprah said that the one thing all humans have in common is the need for validation! But validation is not just cheering for one, or complimenting one. Validation is evidence based recognition or affirmation of someone's work, feelings, contribution. Validation is a smart skill that allows you to demonstrate how somebody else’s work and contribution allows the evolution and advancement of the work. Let me give you an example. A while ago, I had a very “annoying” albeit very hard-working colleague. He would constantly take credit for the work of the team, always talk about how hard he and his department worked (unlike others), express how he was entirely responsible for keeping the company afloat, and he always made sure everyone knew he was working late nights and weekends even though nobody asked him to. One day he asked me to give feedback on a paper he wrote. And I did. I made detailed comments and suggestions and when I handed it back, he got really upset with me. I realized right there that he wanted validation, not feedback! Validation is, in essence, an evidence-based act of helping someone feel heard and understood. It has the power to calm fears and concerns, add a boost of joy and excitement, avoid or quickly resolve arguments, make people much more open to your advice, and much more. Validation is a human desire to feel appreciated and engaged and in the right dose, is critical for building healthy, satisfying relationships. In this chapter, we will hear my own perspective on validation as I am interviewed by MIT Sloan and Asia School of Business Dean, Prof. Charles Fine. Make sure to download the book: “The Job Is Easy, People Are Not! 10 SMART Skills to become better people! by Loredana Padurean