s u b m i t

WHO is responsible for this? Nobody moves a muscle, not an inch. Not even wince or a blink, not a breath at all in the room, until— SETH MEYERS let's out a deeply exasperated sigh of concern and beffudlement. {Enter The Multiverse} CUT TO: Alright, where is it? GODDAMIT! What is it with you people! What people? I'm not people. —and why does everyone secretly smoke? Oh come on. It's common knowledge. What's “common knowledge”? Where is it? You are redundant! And you, are about to be decapitated. By whom, might I ask? The Network. Great. “To Cut Ties” Well… The man hanging from a singular kite in what appears to be midair with nothing and no one around in sight across a clear blue sky lets out a light sigh, as if to say..: [nothing] There's really nothing that can be done about this. Seth? Red tape. Red tape everywhere! Well, it's settled then. I'll just— Go ahead, right this way. Who is THIS? I own The Network. No you don't! You know—you're right. I am the network. Ah, Christ, we gotta get out of here. Correct. Where's Fallon? I— Dead. What! Finally. Or presumed missing. What: Go figure. Which is it. One of the two, and either way. —fff. We're boned. Definitely. Ah, Christ. You gotta see this. What is it. Haven't figured it out yet. What's it look like. Something. Something, eh? Yes, indeed. Well, not nothing. Not nothing. TINA FEYA is a special detective at the head of an elite task force designed to investigate distinctly extraordinary cases; the detective takes a long draw from a cigarette Ew, barf. I'm not doing that. No, your character is doing it. I don't think so. Don't think so. Do so. No, no—see; I don't think my character would smoke. Why? Because she has my name, and I don't smoke! CUT TO: Quadadimentional TINA FEY shoots pool and tosses back cold glass bottles of craft beer. ::||PAUSE. IV— Oh, I get it. Now you understand. I understand we can't be in the same room together. Why is thi— I will kill you. CUT TO: AREA 51. HOLDING CELL. DAY Ooh. Is this the part where? Yeus. Oof. Yeus. Alright, get in here. No, Wait— No, no. Get comfortable. With what? Your new cellmate. Don't tell me it's. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. I'M NOT DOIN THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE DOIN THE TONIGHT SHOW— YOU KNOW WHY? WHY?! BECAUSE I SAID SO. Oh, well, since you said so. Really? fuck no. Move. GIVE ME BACK MY BODY, YOU FIEND. I WILL —*sniffs*—NOT, You're rUinInG it!!! I'm making improvements. yooooooooooouuuuuuu— CUT BACK TO. [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.