[The Blackness.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.