Healing Trauma and Triggers and Calming Your Inner Child with Dr. Deb

Sherry gets ready for a fun staycation, and then she and Carla take a Love Fix question about what to do when you think the person you are seeing is also seeing other people. Then, they welcome Dr. Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D., Marriage & Family Therapist. Deb has a specialty in trauma healing and helps couples learn to first love themselves and tame their triggers before learning how to communicate with their partner. She talks with Sherry and Carla about how to parent your inner child, what the Internal Family Systems model is, and what to look for when picking a trusted therapist.   What You’ll Hear In This Episode:   A Love Fix question — what do you do when your intuition tells you the person you are seeing is also dating other people? How does our attachment style also play a role in what we do next? The conversations that you have with your partner are the conversations about unhealed work in your childhood. Our partners provide a mirror for us to look at what needs to be healed. Communication is a necessary step in your relationship, but working on your own internal trauma and triggers takes precedence. Dr. Deb explains some indicators of what may look like abuse vs. when you feel the triggered feeling is coming from inside you. The Internal Family Systems model is one tool that Dr. Deb uses with her clients. It helps people learn to heal and negotiate with the family living inside of you, so you can learn to respond rather than react. Resources to Deb’s Love Yourself, Love Your Marriage Masterclass, along with ways to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency and gaining confidence. What about if one partner is ready to face their triggers, but their partner isn’t ready?   When does it become more mature love? Is there a certain age, or is it more of a state of mind?   What are some ways that we can both create safety within ourselves, and safety within our relationship? The power of taking 20 minutes to calm down when things get heated with your partner. It’s important to have a therapist or trained coach guide you through the healing process. Yes, even therapists need to manage their inner child!   Tweetables: “Your marriage is like a hotbed of all the problems that you had growing up and you need to work it out within yourself. It’s not going to happen from the person you are with.” - Dr. Deb “Most people don't know who they are, and they don’t know why they are triggered.” - Dr. Deb “You are allowed to have your line in the sand. You don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior.” - Sherry   Connect with Us!   The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Wake up Recovery for Codependency, Love Addiction, and Toxic Relationships — $1 trial membership The Love Fix Relationship Quiz     Get professional online counseling with BetterHelp by clicking here. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.   Join Sherry’s free webinar, “How to say no without feeling guilty”. Free Masterclass — How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty    Find Out More:    Sherry Website | Instagram | Facebook | Love Smacked | Wake Up Recovery for Codependents and Toxic Relationships     Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp    Dr. Deb  Website | Facebook Group