99: Show Authentic and Meaningful Appreciation with Dr. Paul White

Do you ever feel like you’ve shown so much appreciation to someone and yet the recipient doesn’t seem to recognize it? This may be due to a mismatch in languages of appreciation. As managers, it’s critical that we show appreciation that is meaningful to our team members, but figuring out how to do this isn’t always obvious. Dr. Paul White is a psychologist, speaker, and international leadership trainer who “makes work relationships work”. His company, Appreciation at Work, provides training resources for corporations, medical facilities, schools, non-profits, government agencies, over 700 colleges and universities, and in over 60 countries. He is the coauthor with Dr. Gary Chapman of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, which has sold over 400,000 copies.  Paul and I talk about the five languages of appreciation, how to show appreciation that is actually appreciated, how to not show appreciation that backfires, and basically all things appreciation in the workplace.    Read the related blog article: How To Ensure Your Team Members Feel Valued   Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to access dozens of guest bonuses, episode guides and a community of supportive managers in our private Slack team. Members get the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory FREE! This assessment helps you discover your preferred language of appreciation and provides an individualized report and list of action items you can share with your team members to help them “hit the mark” in showing YOU appreciation.  If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at [email protected] for 20% off any membership level.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    KEY TAKEAWAYS There are five languages of appreciation at work based on Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages: words of affirmation; quality time; acts of service; tangible gifts; physical touch. 46% of people prefer Words of Affirmation. This includes verbal and written (paper and digital) communications. When offering words of affirmation, use the person’s name and be specific about what you appreciate and why. Show appreciation for performance and personal qualities such as cheerful attitude, sense of humor, or dedication. Approximately 40% of people prefer to receive praise in private. Quality time focuses on feeling included. This can be done through small gestures such as informal chatting with a person and spending time talking about work, listening attentively, and providing opportunities for mentorship. Acts of service is about helping to make t