TNMU #206: Pursuing His Heart More Than Obedience

The Next Man Up | Equipping Fathers | Raising Men - A podcast by Mark Stanifer

Parenting from a place of fear is a way to gain your son’s obedience. It’s also likely to result in strained or severed relationship in the end. There is a better way to have a strong relationship and his obedience—parenting from a place of love. In this episode, Mark talks about the two acts of his fathering journey and the intermission between that made all the difference.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Expanded Notes: Our default or initial mode of parenting is significantly influenced by how we were parented If we wish to change, we must first become aware Fathering from an insecure place will lead to a focus on obedience and compliance in order to validate the father More secure fathering will prioritize the relationship and allow obedience to grow from it In John 3:17 Jesus says, “I did not come into the world to condemn.” Parenting can parallel your understanding of who you are as a son of God When you are secure, parenting from a place of love vs fear, you can better meet your kids where they are and give into the situation what is needed most What does a loving response look like in the moment? Some practical tips: Don’t react in anger; give yourself a “timeout” to settle down before responding Make discipline decisions ahead of time; define the boundaries and the consequences beforehand Focus on pursuing a love based approach versus a fear based approach