134: 5 Ways to Help Bio and Step Kids Reduce Fear and Worry

Brian Mayer talks about fear and worry especially in our children in the wake of a crisis at home or in society.  In light of the virus that is spreading around the world and the resulting school cancellations, it can put uncertainty in the minds of our children.  Let’s talk today about 5 ways that you can help them feel better in the midst of chaos.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies The definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something is dangerous and is likely to cause pain.” The definition of worry is “allowing one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.”  The definition of panic is “sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.”  At the time of this podcast publishing, there is a lot of fear, worry, and panic regarding a virus that is spreading around the world.  This virus is considered what they call “novel” or new.  This means that people have yet to build any kind of immune response to.  As a result it can take longer for the body to fight it off which means it has more time to spread.  Schools have been cancelling classes for 2 or more weeks.  Kids of course might love the idea of being out of school for a couple of weeks especially if they get that time around the week of spring break meaning they could be looking at 3 weeks off.  But the reason that they are out of school might scare them.  Especially with today’s social media and internet information can spread like wildfire.  Some of it is true and some of it is not. Let’s face it social media applications like Facebook has everyone talking right now about this virus and what to do about it.  It looks like a phrase called “social distancing” is become part of out language.  Social distancing means to limit interactions with others and stay a certain distance from others.    You might be scared about all of this, but chances are you may have one or several kids in the family that are very worried about getting really sick or even dying from this virus because it is being talked about so much.  So what in the world should we do to help our kids especially during this time?  I have 5 different ways you can help your bio kids or stepkids navigate this unknown to them a little easier.  Here are those 5 ways:  Normalize their feelings.  Normalize just means to help them understand that it is okay to feel scared and that lots of people do.  You can even tell them that from time to time you are scared about things too.  Of course you want to stay strong for them but help them know that they are not alone.  Pray with them.  We serve a powerful yet loving God.  It is my belief that this virus is not from him nor is he “allowing” this because he is unhappy in any way with us.  Let them know that there are a lot of things that are out of our control but that we should turn over our worry to the one that controls it all.  This is another way you can help them know they are not alone.  Read the Bible with them.  In particular, pick our passages that discuss fear and worry and what we should do instead.  Encourage them to memorize them and replace fearful thoughts with these truths.  Here are some of my favorites.  “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the birds: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn, yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Luke 12:22-26 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Phillipians 4:6-7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 Reassure them.  Let them know that they will always have you to talk through their feelings and to know that what is going for them is important to you.  This can especially helpful for stepkids who can automatically feel like you really don’t care nor are interested in them like your own bio kids.  Help Others.  Involve your kids in looking for people who are less fortunate or maybe even the elderly who have to be extremely careful about getting out during this time.  If you know of a neighbor in need ask your kids to help check in on them and even go to the grocery store to get them items they might need.  This can often take your child’s mind off of their own worry and anxiety.  This time of great fear is certainly an opportunity for great learning and teaching, but also connecting and comfort to take place as well.  Please take care of yourself and each other during this time and let’s pray that this valley we are in comes to end soon.  Resources: None Mentioned Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I am more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​ As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.