25: 25 Great (and Cheap) Rituals of Connection

Summary Brian Mayer talks about staying connected with each other through doing things together as a couple.  These ideas don’t have to be expensive and they don’t often involve leaving the home.  In honor of episode 25, we will discuss 25 simple, fun, and cheap ideas for you to strengthen your bond and connection.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies Why are rituals of connection (date nights) important?  Your relationship with each other as a couple is the most important relationship you will ever have.  Obviously if you believe in a higher spiritual power, this relationship should fall just under.  But the point is it should be higher than children, other family members, friends, and coworkers.                         Connection #1:  Play cards.  Learn a simple card game together.  Connection #2:  Plan an indoor picnic complete with either a table and chairs set up in the living room or a blanket on the floor.  Get as creative as you want here! Connection #3:  Play a video game together like Wii Bowling.  Keep it simple and easy so that you can have lots of time to talk while playing.  Connection #4:  Build a fire indoors or outdoors and talk about what you want life to be like in 5 years.  Be careful to listen to each other and do what you can to support each other’s dreams when possible.      Connection #5:  Talk about your favorite childhood toys.  Compare notes with each other and make sure to ask lots of questions.  Questions like did play alone or with friends?  What was the favorite toy you received as a gift.     Connection #6:  Read a book together.  I don’t necessarily mean reading a marriage book either.  Pick something fun like a novel or biography.  Take turns reading aloud and then discuss each night.     Connection #7:  Cook together.  If you don’t want to make a whole mean then plan a dessert.     Connection #8:  Watch a movie outside. I normally would not recommend a movie but if you set it up in a different way it can create an indelible memory. Connection #9:  Beverage Tasting.  For those of you who are okay with drinking wine for example buy several bottles, pour some sample sizes, taste and talk.  You can do non-alcoholic beverages like root beer.  You could even do a cheese tasting instead.  Connection #10:  Listen to a podcast like this one together.  Then discuss it afterward.  Connection #11:  Take an online language course together in Spanish, Italian, or whatever language you like.  Speak to each other in that language and encourage one another.  Connection #12:  Pull out the wedding photo album or video.  Talk about it.     Connection #13:  Take a course at the local community college together.  You might be able to find free low cost courses that are offered to adults that come with no grade attached.     Connection #14:  Attend the local art museum.  Take it slow and talk about what you are seeing.  Do not focus on what you like and what you don’t like or what your partner likes and does not like.  Simply observe colors, shapes, scenes etc and share them.     Connection #15:  Rewrite your vows.  Then repeat what you each have written to each other.  You could even print them out and frame them.     Connection #16:  Have coffee at the local coffee shop.  Plan how long you will stay.  This helps to not feel rushed or give a sense of not knowing for how long you should stay.  Connection #17:  Go for a walk.  Observe the scenes and simply comment on what you see.     Connection #18:  Work out together whether it be at the gym or a run or light jog outdoors. Training for a race together is another fun idea. Connection #19:  Attend a parade of homes event together.  Talk about what you see and what ideas you might like to incorporate into your own home.  Connection #20:  Get a couple’s massage.  The new thing is to go for a float in saltwater.     Connection #21:  Find a lake, rent a canoe, and gently paddle around for a couple of hours  Connection #22:  Go for a hike.  Remember to choose a hike that is somewhat challenging but not too difficult.     Connection #23:  Go to an antique store.  Talk about what you see and wonder aloud where an item may have been and what it was used for.     Connection #24:  Volunteer together.  You could spend a few hours a week at the animal shelter, local homeless shelter, or many other ideas.  My wife and I volunteer at our church to be marriage mentors for couples in need.     Connection #25:  Babysit together.  Find another couple that needs a break and offer to babysit together.  Make sure you each play an equal role.            Remember while the ideas are important, it is more important that you are connecting with one another.  Always keep that at the forefront of what you choose to do.     Lots of obstacles will get in your way.  Time is one.  However, you must be intentional to carve out time.  A solution my wife and I have found is to place the event on our smartphone calendar.  It is shared and so we both can see it easily.  Putting things on a calendar, do several things.  One is that helps make it a priority so that nothing gets in the way and two it creates a sense of anticipation.    One other obstacle may be that one of you simply “does not like doing this activity.”  I will challenge you here that you must get that phrase out of your vocabulary.  I do not like grocery shopping, however I do this all the time with my wife because spending time and investing in our relationship is so much more important to me than the activity.                Finally, if you are in your second or subsequent marriage ask your spouse to listen to this episode.  If you are not yet married again, file this episode away and remember to pull these things out at the right time to help in your future relationship and connection.              Resources Today’s Resource is Brian’s Brain!  Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. It would be extremely helpful, it you would consider leaving a rating and review on Apple devices at iTunes  or on Android devices at Google Play as it will help the podcast reach others who need help in rebuilding life and relationships. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!