98. New Year, New You? Plus Asian American Culture

We all start off the new year with hopes of becoming a better version of our past selves. Maybe this is the year I will: finish that novel, lose unwanted pounds, or solve world hunger. Maybe not. How many of us make new year resolutions, but by mid-February have already fallen off the horse? (I prefer horse than wagon. Why? 1. I am the year of the horse. 2. Horses are awesome. 3. I’ve never even been on a wagon, have you?) I always find it interesting that we humans feel it is necessary to hit the ‘reset’ button at the beginning of the year. O and I discussed some philosophies about this on Episode 20 of Forty Fit-fu. Instead of making a ‘new year resolution’, we encouraged people to define their values, and who they are. Who am I? Why am I here? Ok, we don’t need to get that philosophical, but I prefer focusing on what I can control. I can control my thoughts and my actions. (more on this and Stoicism in a bit) On Forty Fit-fu we talked about defining our values: I am a martial artist who will not allow age to hold me back! Hopefully, if I keep telling myself this, it will lead me to practice kung fu more often. At the end of the day, we all have to practice effective self-talk. I have been guilty of using negative self talk to stay motivated. Although I get results… slowly over time I end up devaluing myself. This also leads to negative thoughts and in the long run is not productive. We all can use a swift kick in the ass once in a while to get moving, but there is a big difference in negative self talk and motivating self talk. I admittedly am not the best person to give this advice. Here are some examples: Bad You are a lazy and worthless human being. If you don’t stop wasting time, you will never get anything accomplished, loser. Better Stop procrastinating and get working! You are strong, healthy, and productive. Take a moment to breathe, and take it one step at a time. Best You are an incredible human being. You are loved and appreciated. You have accomplished many things, and you know you can get this done. I believe in you. At best, I fall somewhere in the middle. This is something I am working on. No, this isn’t a new year’s resolution. This is an ongoing work in progress. A lot of people ask: How do you get so many things done? My answer: Because I have to. There is always a yin and yang. There should be a balance. Expectations can be good and bad. Growing up there was a lot expected of me, so I tried to live up to those expectations, or feel like a failure. Many Asian Americans have shared these feelings with me.