76. Get on the Same Page with Your Spouse About These 4 Things: Suzanne Venker

Research shows, and experience demonstrates, that there are 4 main potential stressors in every marriage. If you and your spouse can agree on these early on, you’re way ahead of the game. But if you missed the boat, hope is not lost. You and your spouse can get on the same page anytime you want. All you have to do is make up your mind to do so—and it’s critical that you do. The four areas of marriage that cause the most discord and potential divorce are: money, parenting, in-laws, and religion.  IN THIS EPISODE:  3:00 The 4 most important things to be on the same page about when it comes to staying married  3:30 Money & Marriage: Why is it so important? Why do we behave and think the way we do with money?  6:00 Growing up, was the conversation around money calm or stressful? Suzanne talks about why this matters and describes the different types of upbringings related to finances  12:20 You will likely marry, or have already married, someone who had a different upbringing when it comes to money  15:20 Millennial couples talk and think about money very differently than any other generation  16:25 Suzanne talks about her coaching business and how many of her clients talk about money as “his” and “hers” instead of “ours” and how it affects their marriages  **18:00 When you marry someone, you take on their background and that includes their debt! Tackling this TOGETHER is the only way out.  20:00 Why being on the same page about parenting and about balancing work/family life is crucial to a successful marriage  26:25 Suzanne discusses the reality of combining work and family 28:05 Why the majority of my clients who work full-time and year-round with children have major marital issues  36:20 Your marriage must come first over your family of origin. If you do not create a fortress, there will be constant conflict in your marriage re your families of origin  38:00 Bottom line with all marital issues: Get on the same page with your spouse!