11. WEDDINGS - It's a tricky thing...

Weddings are thorny right? From trying to juggle bridesmaids to trying to juggle feminism; from in-law relationships to marquee costs to eco-guilt. Of course, weddings are also incredible but sometimes the lead-up and the day itself can be unforgettable in all the worst ways. Well we've tackled every aspect of pre-wedding stress over the last 10 episodes and 6 guest specials of The Thing About That and now it's time to close the door on this particular topic. We've discussed: Why would a modern woman even choose to get married? In heterosexual couples, should a woman still be taking a man's surname? How can the Wedding Dress industry shake off the ugly shackles of diet culture? We've heard from elopement photographers, female proposers, Hindu-Punjabi divorcees and gay grooms.  It's been fascinating and joyful. But in this episode, Becca, Hettie and Lucy break down the lessons learnt over the past series, from understanding the value of involving your parents and in-laws to learning about how to be more sustainable in your event-planning choices. Take a listen and then drop us a review or give us a cheeky star-rating! Also be sure to subscribe to make sure you don't miss upcoming series from The Thing About That. Follow us on twitter: @TTAT_Podcast Follow us on Instagram: @TTAT_Podcast Follow us on facebook: @TheThingAboutThatPodcast Series 1, Episode 11 length: 52 mins 19 seconds What have we learnt? (01:35) Balancing your own feelings and the feelings of others in the wedding context  What is the social function of getting married if not to involve your family and people you love Shobna Gulati, Amy Anaiz and Freddie Hutchins - the importance of family and community in a wedding. Lesson 1: You can’t please all people all the time How does our image of marriage still need to change? (11:22) Books, films, TV need to show relationships that do not end in marriage Social responsibility to avoid clichéd questions when talking to engaged people In what way has our thinking changed because of this podcast (14:14) Becoming more analytical in one's thinking, which does not actually lead to an easier life. The division of labour when it comes to planning a wedding has still got a long way to go: It should not just be on the woman to deconstruct old traditions. “Feminists alike, if they’re worth their salt, will want you just to feel like you have the option.” Bringing awareness back to the sustainability of the day. How do our everyday values just fall off a cliff when we start planning a wedding? Know where the individuals desires of a wedding come from (27:43) Does one person in the couple want the big wedding day more than another? That’s ok. Know who that is and what the drive for the day is. Accept that. Wedding-planning as great marriage-training (31:28) Learn what you can from the hard conversations and the tricky decisions involved in planning a wedding day. Teaches you what is important to both of you. Analysing the experience of making a podcast (36:11) Podcasting as a creative outlet to balance out the professional side of your life Bonding with strangers around the world Learning about one’s own strengths and weaknesses Favourite episode from the series (42:30) Becca’s choice: Elopements with Maddie-Mae from Adventure Instead. Lucy’s choice: Proposals Hettie’s choice: Surnames and The Dress Thank you for listening!